One Week
by Hiron Otsuki
Summary: Journey to a myriad of fantasy lands with your only companions being an assassin, a lonely donkey, and a bounty hunter. Pull out your old fairytale books and venture into lands of magic and fable in a tale of romance. Slash. AU after Shrek 2.
1. You Want Me To WHAT?

A/N as of December 2012: So I apologize if you've tried to read this at any point in the last few years. I wrote One Week back in '04-'05, and it's been a while since I looked at it. I just got a review saying that there'd been a mix-up with the first chapter. When I looked, lo and behold there was! Unfortunately I don't have the original to put back up, so I had to rewrite it. I know this first chapter is going to be a good sight better than the following ten chapters, so if you guys are really thrown off by the quality change, let me know and I'll see about reworking the rest of this story. Cheers!

Note: This is set directly after Shrek 2 and is AU after that point. If you enjoy this, a side story called 'Simply Charming' about Doris and Prince Charming is also available on my author page.

* * *

It was a humid day in Swamp Bottom when Shrek and Fiona were roused from a lazy morning in bed to an annoying wailing noise that was only getting louder.

Shrek groaned and tried to block out the ruckus with a pillow, and grabbed Fiona's to create a second layer when the first one had little effect.

Fiona was now thoroughly awake, and instead of trying to ignore the increasing din, rolled out of bed and stumbled into the kitchen. She knew what the sound was, and whatever Donkey was upset about now, coffee was probably going to be needed. The noise rose to a high pitch directly outside the cottage and cut off abruptly after the sound of solid wood breaking through a mud wall echoed through the house.

"Shrek!" she called, scooping some of the mud coffee into the boiler. "You're going to fix that after breakfast!"

Her husband groaned loudly. He knew when he was beaten . "Yes, dear," she heard him reply.

With the coffee set up, Fiona tied her robe around herself tighter—ever since going back to her old human self, she had to get used to being ogre-sized all over again—and walked outside.

A small grey donkey was lying tangled in the remains of a chair, halfway submerged in a puddle of mud and swamp water. He was blowing bubbles morosely into it, and fat tears rolled down his cheeks. His fur was singed brown and crisp on one flank, and she could smell the burned hair even over the myriad fragrances of the swamp.

"Donkey, are you okay?" she asked, picking up her pace to pull him out of the water.

As she untangled him from the bits of chair, he started crying more, and heedless of the mud and bitter stench, she held him as he wept.

A distinct odor of sulfur was obvious to her ogre nose, and Fiona asked, nervous of the answer, "Where's Dragon?"

Donkey began sobbing harder, and his wails filled the clearing like an air horn, scaring away whatever birds had stayed. The front door of the cottage slammed open, and Shrek stormed into the clearing.

"What is all the ruckus?" he demanded, glaring at Donkey.

Fiona was annoyed at his brusqueness, but at the same time she was grateful for his presence. If anyone could persuade Donkey to talk, it would be his best friend.

His voice softened as Shrek obviously started paying attention, and she heard his big footfalls as he neared. "Hey now, what's wrong?"

Donkey shook his head and made a mewling sound that sounded wrong coming out of his muzzle, but Shrek, with all the charm of an ogre, grabbed his muzzle and forced his head up.

"Donkey, what's going on? Why are you burned?"

"Dragon," Donkey choked out.

"I can see that you got into a fight," Shrek said, running a finger over the melted fur. "What about?"

"She's gone," Donkey said.

"What do you mean she's gone?" Fiona asked. "She left before to go have babies," she said. "Maybe she's having another batch."

It was the wrong thing to say.

The mule broke into fresh howls, and Fiona looked at Shrek. His face was lined with worry.

"She left with the kids," Donkey said between sobs. "She was—it's a dragon thing. They raise their babies alone. She just needed me to help make them, and then little dragons meet the daddy once, and then they leave with the mom to go grow up in the mountains somewhere. She wasn't too good with explaining," he said, nodding at his burned side.

Fiona winced. She wanted children, but she would never take them away from Shrek, even if he could be an ogre sometimes. She looked over at Shrek, whose face displayed a mix of concern and something she couldn't identify. Relief? Why would he be relieved at the thought of a mother taking her children away from the father?

She pushed the thought to the side and decided to focus on their four-legged friend.

"Donkey, I'm so sorry," she said.

"You can stay with us for a little while," Shrek said.

Fiona looked over at him. She could tell that the offer had cost him dearly. Shrek didn't like sharing space with anyone, but the concern in his eyes was open for anyone with eyes to see. He was genuinely worried about his friend.

"She left me this." Donkey nodded over to a parcel that he'd dropped at the fence. It had obviously seen better days, and Fiona cautiously made her way over to it and opened it with a long stick. Anything that Donkey picked up could explode, be disgusting, or both, so she thought a little caution was warranted.

A small orange bottle rolled out, and Fiona picked it up carefully. "This is one of Fairy Godmothers'," she murmured, turning it over in her hands.

"How can you tell?" Shrek asked, watching her as he forced one of Donkey's legs back through a chair rung. "Sorry, pal," he murmured as the donkey winced.

Fiona pointed to a seal where the mouth of the bottle had been sealed with wax. "This is her personal sigil," she said. "She also has—had—a line of cosmetics that had the same sign."

"What does it do?" Donkey asked. He was still sniffling, but she knew from her own experience of being locked in a tower and abandoned by your family that he was probably in shock.

"I don't know," she said, peering through the clear glass at the orange potion sloshing around inside. "It's thick like syrup, but there's no note."

She held the bottle up to a shaft of sunlight to get a better look, and to her surprise, words flashed down the side of the bottle in fine golden script.

"True love's test," Fiona read. "This potion will transform you into a form that you will find easy for travel, as will your true love. There will be a draw between the two of you, and you will both be transformed for one week. If you find each other and share True Love's Kiss by the end of the week, you can remain in the new form, but if you choose to go back to your original forms, please be aware that Fairy Godmother is not responsible for any allegations of bestiality, inter-species sex crimes, etc, should it be illegal in your country. Note: This product is processed on equipment also used to process nuts."

"Donkey, Dragon just gave you this?" Shrek asked.

"Well no," Donkey said. "It was in the cave, but I didn't know where it was until this weird girl calling herself the new Godmother waltzed in and started telling me that this was a new chance for me, that everything would change, and that I'd be okay."

"There's another Godmother in town?" Fiona asked. God, could the country tolerate another one? "What was she like?"

Donkey appeared to be hard in thought, and finally ventured, "She looked like orange was her favorite color."

"Well I see nothing wrong with that," Shrek said sarcastically. "Let's have that potion now, shall we?"

"Great!" Donkey said, lunging for Fiona.

Fiona danced backwards, holding the potion out of reach. "Donkey, we don't know what's going to happen!"

"So you're going to give up on Dragon just like that?" Shrek asked. "You were sobbing not five minutes ago."

"Hey, I'm a flexible guy," Donkey said. "It's not the first time I've been ditched like this. Remember that old lady who tried to sell me when Farquaad was in charge? She raised me from an itty bitty baby donkey, and then tried to sell me off when she found out Farquaad was offering a bounty for fairy tale creatures."

His tone was savage, but Fiona could see the pain in his eyes. "Donkey," she said softly.

Donkey shook his head. "Save it, sister. I'll get over it. Now gimme the potion."

She knew it was a bad idea, but honestly, what was the worst that could happen? If Donkey transformed and didn't find his True Love, he'd just change back into a donkey and come home, right?

She handed him the potion, and she and Shrek watched as Donkey bit the wax off, ate it, and then chugged the little bottle in one go.

He licked his lips afterwards. "It was kinda chunky," he said. "Do potions go bad?"

"Not that I know of," Fiona said carefully. What _did _happen to potions after the Godmother who made them died?

Donkey stumbled a little, even though there was no breeze and Fiona knew for a fact that the ground hadn't trembled. "Donkey?"

"Vision's getting a little woozy," he said, sitting down.

Fiona looked at him closely, then blinked. "I think mine is too," she said. "I swear to god I just saw your eyes move in your skull."

She looked again, and his eyes were now at the front of his head.

"That's disturbing," Shrek said from behind her. Fiona jumped. She hadn't even seen him move; she'd been too focused on Donkey's slow transformation. They stared as Donkey's fur fell out to be replaced by dark skin, and when everything was said and done, a short, dark-complexioned man with a wide white smile was sitting naked in the middle of the swamp, surrounded by a circle of fallen fur.

Donkey raised his hands to his face and examined them, and his face split into a grin. "I'm human!"


	2. Toy Rapier? I Think Not!

"One Week." Chapter 2: Toy Rapier? I think not!

Once Donkey had learned to walk around on two legs without falling over constantly, Shrek and Fiona helped him back to the house.

"Oh man this is weird. So I have… six and a half days now, right?"

"About," Shrek said.

"So how are you going to go about finding your love, Donkey?" Fiona asked.

"Weeeeell…" Donkey stretched the word out. "I was really just gonna get a horse or something and go riding around the kingdoms, looking for my love."

"That's it?" Shrek asked. "What were you going to do about food, water, supplies. You can't eat anything anymore. Your human body can eat certain things."

"Oh… I hadn't thought a that. Uh, could you guys lend me some stuff?" Donkey affected his 'Puss Eyes' and stared at the couple. It was only two minutes before they gave in.

"All right!"

Three hours later, Donkey was as equipped as one could be when being prepared by ogres. He had a horse from the carriage, (its twin remaining in the paddock that Shrek had built,) a pack full of clothing that was too small for Shrek that Fiona had quickly mended, several knives and daggers from men that had attacked the swamp and failed, and two saddlebags full of food, water, money, and valuables that could be sold or traded for supplies. As he waved goodbye from horseback, Shrek and Fiona waved back. They had had to tie him loosely to the saddle to keep him on, but hopefully he would learn some balance before he managed to untie himself.

"Yah!" Donkey weakly nudged the horse in the sides with his heels, and it took off towards Far Far Away.

"Bye, guys!"

"Yeehaa!"

After he was out of sight, Shrek and Fiona turned to each other. "Yeehaa?"

* * *

After a few hours, Donkey's legs were starting to go numb.

"Man, without Shrek here, I'm bored! There's nothing to do!"

He started popping his lips, but the once-favorite pastime's fun faded without the ogre there to complain about it.

"This trip is never gonna end," he lamented. There really wasn't anything to look at. He was riding through a forest, much like the one where that Shirley Bassey shaped bush was, and all that he could see were trees, bushes, rocks, and flowers. Boring. He sighed, and tried to focus inwardly like the Fairy Godmother had told him.

"_Focus on your heart- no, your soul- no- just- focus on the inner you! If you focus on your inner self, and sort of expand your consciousness and think really hard about your true love in a form of- love, then maybe you'll get an image of them, and where to go. You'll feel an inner tugging in a certain direction. Go with it._"

So to pass the time, he focused inwardly, and thought about how much he wanted someone- someone to love him unconditionally, even through spats and rough spots. After a few minutes of intense thinking, he was surprised- not to see an image- but to feel a tugging, sort of at his heart. Not a physical tugging, but the one you get when you watch a soap opera, or a fluffy romance, or-

Donkey shook his head. "Wrong way." He tugged the horse's reins toward the left, towards a different path, to the Poison Apple.

'_Why would my true love be in that direction?_' he wondered, then shrugged it off and let the tired horse move at its own pace towards his destination. He had six days, after all.

* * *

Finally, after two _more_hours, he finally reached The Poison Apple, and managed to untie himself from his horse, falling off of it in the process. He tied it to the hitching post, and a second of thought managed to convince him to take his bags in with him, as the clientele of the bar weren't exactly the most… honest of people.

Inside, the one-handed piano player was still playing, now singing a new song.

"_And the waitress is practicing politics  
As the businessmen slowly get stoned  
Yes, they're sharing a drink they call loneliness  
But it's better than drinkin' alone_

Sing us a song you're the piano man!  
Sing us a song tonight  
Well we're all in the mood  
for a melody and you got us feeling alright

It's a pretty good crowd for a Saturday  
And the manager gives me a smile  
'Cause he knows that it's me they've been comin' to see  
To forget about life for a while  
And the piano, it sounds like a carnival  
And the microphone smells like a beer  
And they sit at the bar and put bread in my jar  
And say, "Man, what are you doin' here.

"

Donkey liked the new tune, but didn't let it stop him. He went determinedly to the bar, passing a man with black hair, black eyes, and black clothing, holding a staff with a large diamond on the top. Inside was what appeared to be a human heart. Donkey shuddered and turned to the bar, bypassing the strange man's companion, even odder though she was, if you took in the fact that the lower half of her body was that of an octopus, with eight tentacled legs.

"Uh, excuse me," he tried to get the bartenders attention. "Hey, have you seen a-" his voice trailed off when the barkeep turned around.

"'Ave I seen a wot?"

Donkey stared. The bartender was definitely not the Ugly Stepthing. _This_ bartender was- Donkey gulped- a banshee. She had long dark hair, a green dress, and a gray cloak. Her skin that wasn't falling off was a pale gray, and she was painfully thin. Skin hung off of her arms and face in shreds, and some looked like they were about to fall right off. He wondered if that was sanitary. Should someone call the Health Inquisition?

"Uh, yeah. I was wonderin', have you seen or heard about anything that wasn't human suddenly turning into a human like uh, this morning?" The bartender's red-rimmed eyes shot towards a huddled figure at the end of the bar, then back towards him.

"Nay," she whispered. "I havena seen a thing. Sorry, lad."

"Alright." He put his bags down between him and the bar and ordered a pitcher of ale, and used it to cover his interest in the figure on the other end of the bar. A pale hand shot out of the cloak to grab a shot of brandy, add it to a glass of milk, and lift the milk toward the upper body, and green eyes suddenly glowed out of a gap. Donkey watched as the being quickly drank the doctored milk, shakily put the glass down, and rise. As the figure shakily moved towards the door, a sword showed through a fold, and the way the figure walked clinched it for Donkey. He knew this creature, even if he didn't remember how or who it was. He rose, grabbed his bags, threw a few coins on the counter to pay for his drink, and followed the figure out of the bar. Outside, it started to wander down the road. He quickly tied the bags back onto the horse, and jumped on, forgetting only one thing- his horrible sense of balance. He slid off the other side and landed in the dirt.

"Damn." Donkey looked up and the figure was gone. "Oh maaan." He grabbed the horse's reins and started dragging it along behind him, in the direction that the figure had taken. After a while, it started to drizzle, and he cursed himself inwardly for not bringing a cloak or anything to cover himself with. After a bit, he caught up with the figure, who was walking along at a steady, quick pace. A half hour passed with neither being stopping for a rest, and Donkey thought that his legs were going to give out soon. He glanced back to check on the horse, and when he looked back up, the figure had vanished again. He frantically looked around for any movement in the underbrush- nothing. "Damn!" he cursed again. Suddenly something rustled behind him in the bushes. He looked back too late. Something light landed on him, and he landed on his back in the mud, with the figure standing on top of him, a rapier pointed at Donkey's throat. Said rapier looked ridiculously small for the figure, but a weapon was a weapon, and when it was pointed at Donkey, he wasn't going to argue.

"Who are you?" the figure asked. "Why have you been following me?"

Donkey blinked. The accented voice sounded so familiar, why couldn't he place it?

"I'm… uh, looking for someone."

"Who?"

"A… person who turned into a human this morning. Uh, you wouldn't happen to be that person?" Donkey asked, praying that this _wasn't_ that person.

The figure froze. "Madre de dios. _Donkey_?"

The named individual took the opportunity to grab his captor's feet and pull them towards his face, unbalancing the figure and causing him to land next to Donkey in the mud. His hood flew back, revealing his face. At first glance, Donkey didn't recognize him, but- certain qualities of the face prompted him to immediately think of a cat- the angular jawbone, the high cheekbones, the almond shaped slit-pupiled green eyes, and the almost pointed ears, but the wild hair that was streaked with different shades of orange, _and_ the rapier especially, made him think of a specific cat, specifically one with boots. Donkey and the unknown studied each other for a few minutes, each sensing something- familiar in each other, and a link between them that was growing stronger by the second, before Donkey uttered the one word that completed the bond.

"Puss?"


	3. I Will Not Violate You!

And now, a quote from Tara LJC O'Shea:

"Look, you gotta understand one thing. When a fan writer writes something, she's not looking to **change** series canon. She might be trying to get the fandom to view a character or a situation a _specific way_. But she's not throwing her story out there and saying "This is how it'll be from now on" to the entire fandom at large. With the notable exception of shared world stories, a fan author's world is _self-contained_."

* * *

"Donkey?"

The flame-haired human rolled away and to his feet and stared at Donkey.

"_Maldición_! What made you like this?"

"Ummm well, I got a potion from the new Fairy Godmother, and drank it, 'cause I was lonely, cause Dragon left, so I came lookin' for my True Love, an' I figured that if anyone would know who recently turned into a human, Doris would! So I came here, then you left the bar, and I followed you, then you jumped on me, an' I tripped you, then you asked me how I got like this, an' I said that I drank a potion, 'cause I was lonely, an'-" Puss clapped his hand over Donkey's mouth.

"Do you ever shut up?"

"Mpgh mph mphh mph-"

Puss removed his hand from Donkey's mouth.

"So how did you turn into a human?"

"I woke up this morning like this." It was true. Puss had gone to sleep on his bed as usual, and woken up… like _this_. He was lucky that the old bartender had left some of it's partner's clothes behind.

"Oh- umm, Puss…"

"What is it Donkey?" '_Please don't let it be, please don't let it be, please don't let it be-_'

"I drank that potion this morning. I think you're my True Love." '_!_'

"WHAT?!"

"Uh, yeah. So all we have to do is kiss, and we'll stay like this forever- well, that's if you want to be my True Love like this. I mean, if you're into the whole animal thing- Puss?" Donkey looked around. "Puss?"

'_No no no no nonononononnnnnooooo!_' Puss was already a few hundred yards away and gaining distance. '_He is not my love, this is all one horrible, horrible misunderstanding. I am supposed to fall in love with a girl. Donkey is supposed to fall in love with a girl. We are supposed to fall in love with girls! Girls! Not. Each. Other._'

He was so focused inwardly that he never saw the tree branch right in front of him.

He came to with stars dancing the tango behind his eyelids, head pillowed on something soft. When he opened his eyes, he was assaulted with the sight of those same brown eyes staring at him. Brown pools of chocolate that you could fall into and drown forever and ever and ever…. It looked like Donkey was having a similar tongue-tying experience, until Puss jerked his head off of Donkey's lap and twisted around in the dirt until they were face to face.

"What- how-"

"You ran into a branch, Puss," Donkey said calmly.

"Oh. Well, then-" Puss suddenly remembered why he was in this situation.

"I am _not_ your True Love! My True Love is a girl! It's either that, or I do not _have_ a True Love!"

Donkey looked hurt, but he soon brightened. "Aww, I figured you'd say that. Just give it a shot. What've you got to lose? It's six days! What could happen in six days?"

(A/N: Hiro: Many, many things. Most of them involve the ever popular one blanket scenario, soy sauce, and white rice. Reanna: o.o Pepito: XD)

Puss actually found himself considering it for a moment, then shook his head.

"No!"

"Why?" The simple question startled him, and he floundered for an answer.

"Because- because that's not the way the fairytale _goes_!" he cried. "It's supposed to be the _prince_ and the prin_cess_!He rescues her from some horrible fate, they kiss, and they live Happily Ever After! Not the prince who loves the prince, not the laborer who loves the swordsman, not the donkey that loves the cat! Never! It just doesn't _happen_!"

Donkey thought about it for a moment, then replied. "But what if we're supposed to make our own fairytale, Puss? True Love doesn't happen everyday. We _are_ True Love! Don't tell me that you can't feel the bond between us! It's getting stronger with every moment that we're together," he pleaded.

"Then- perhaps it will weaken if we are apart," Puss stated, and scrambled up, and started to stalk off. He was stopped by two gentle hands on his shoulders that turned him around to look into a pair of sorrowful brown eyes.

"You don't really mean that," Donkey breathed onto his lips. "You know that you can't leave. The Fairy Godmother told me that once I find my True Love, in the time between the transformations, if we leave each other, we'll be in a lot of pain and eventually die."

Puss felt like his eyes were going to drop out of his head.

"You lie," he hissed.

"Would I lie about something like that?" Donkey snapped. His eyes softened again, and Puss felt like his knees were going to turn to jelly. The other human tightened his grip on Puss's shoulders so that Puss couldn't move.

'_He wouldn't._'

Donkey started to close the gap between them, and close his lips over those of the transfixed Puss, then stopped abruptly. He seemed to be having an internal conversation with himself.

"No, I can't do this," he muttered. "I can't take advantage of you; that'd be cheating. I want you to come to me of your own free will."

Puss was momentarily overcome by the despair in Donkey's voice, and the gratitude he felt for the other transfigured being for not violating him.

Gingerly, he placed his hands on the muscled biceps of the man holding him, and took a deep breath.

"I will try this, Donkey. Start tomorrow and you will have five days to win me over. That is all the time I will give you, do you understand? And this will or will not be consummated on _my own terms_, no one else's."

Donkey's eyes sparkled with happiness.

"Alright!" he exclaimed. "I promise you, Puss, you won't regret it! I'll make you love me, you'll see!"

They traveled for a while, walking side by side on the road, leading Donkey's horse behind them. Neither said much, they only concentrated on what was in their own minds, and occasionally the passing scenery. After a bit, it began to rain again, and they started looking for some shelter. Puss eventually spotted an old run-down shack, and they ran towards it, the horse following at its own pace. When they got to it, it turned out to have barely half a roof, with room for just two people to squeeze under. Donkey sighed and tethered the horse under a willow tree. It would probably be drier than they were, he thought. In the packs was an old blanket that Shrek had loaned him. He grabbed it and went to join Puss in the shelter. Inside, they stood huddled under the single solid spot of roof, neither willing to admit that they were freezing, and neither willing to admit that they needed some sleep.

An hour passed, and Donkey sighed theatrically. This was getting them nowhere. He rolled his eyes, grabbed Puss around the waist, and plopped down on the floor with Puss between his legs, leaning back against his stomach. Donkey braced his own back against the wall, and draped the blanket around Puss's slim frame, tugging in the edges between himself before Puss could say a word. The former cat immediately started to struggle, and only Donkey's arms around him prevented him from bolting across the room.

"Donkey," he hissed. "What are you doing?"

"Conserving space and sharing body heat. Besides, there's only one blanket," he pointed out reasonably. Donkey hoped that Puss hadn't suddenly acquired the power to read minds; he was enjoying the close contact between them, and hoped that it wouldn't end for a while.

"Let's try to get some sleep, and if it bothers you that much, in an hour, if you still aren't asleep, I'll go sleep with Winnie," he said, referring to the horse.

"F-fine. But don't try anything on me," the assassin warned.

"Don't worry. I won't," he reassured the man in his arms.

"Now let's just try to catch some Z's."

After a while, Donkey felt Puss finally succumb into slumber in his arms, and the tension drain out of his body. The orange-haired man actually snuggled into him, a bit. Donkey smiled into the darkness, and let himself drift into sleep, still resting his arms about the other's waist.


	4. And the Danger Appeareth!

**Chapter Three: And the Danger Appeareth!**

'_Warm… mmm, snuggly… smells nice… hug it, squeeze it, smell it, look at it… soft, yummy, humanized-_'

"DONKEY!" Puss half screeched in fear, upon discovering where he was and what the 'snuggly' thing was. Suddenly it didn't seem so snuggly. "Donkey!"

The named animal didn't even flinch, and held Puss tighter, continuing to wander his dreamland.

Annoyed, Puss assessed the situation while poking Donkey absentmindedly. The rain had obviously stopped sometime during the night, because the ground was partially dry, and the sky, if not completely clear, had very few clouds. He could hear the horse shifting restlessly, and deduced that it had probably eaten everything within its reach by now.

'_How long have we been like this?_'

The sun was more towards the eastern horizon than it was to the height of the sky. Huh. '_Must be around eight._'

"Donkey," Puss said more quietly. "Donkey, please let me go. _Donkey_. _Hsst._"

"Mfgrble shmellnicsheshleepnow," was his only reply.

Puss growled and lunged out of Donkey's arms, hitting the hard dirt floor and producing a soft _oomph_ that finally managed to wake the sleeping ass.

'_I scream in his ear, I poke him repeatedly, I shove away from him, and a _quiet_ noise is what wakes him up?_'

"Puss?"

"No, it's Shrek," Puss said sarcastically.

"Shrek! Oh hey, buddy! What're you doing-" Finally Donkey opened his eyes, and saw that he was talking to a non-present ogre.

"Damn, Puss, that wasn't very nice!"

"Whoever said I was nice? Assassins aren't supposed to be nice, Donkey."

The named animal _hmph_ed and picked himself up while straightening his clothing and looking around.

"What time is it?"

"About eight."

"Oh. I knew that. I _knew_ that, so stop laughin' at me."

"Um, that wasn't me laughing." Puss listened, and could hear laughing coming from nearby, perhaps in the clearing with them.

"Really? Then who was it?"

"'Twas I," a croaky voice rasped. Donkey and Puss stared as two figures appeared out of the shadows and into the dim light under a thickly-shaded tree.

One was a large woman that looked like a really ugly old bat, with gray hair and a short piglike snout, and squinting eyes. Her companion was a rather bizarre creature that stood five feet high on powerful hind legs. It had a large head, with big, slanted eyes and six-inch spikes running all the way down its back. It had large frontal paws armed with five lethal looking razors, connected to its body with muscled forearms. The thing's eyes glowed a sickening yellow, with black slitted pupils, and Puss knew, both instinctively and mythically, what it was.

"And you are?" Donkey asked rudely.

"I am the Black Annis," the woman grated out.

"I have heard of you," Puss said. "You eat children and lambs."

"Children and lambs! Oh no! Puss, don't let her eat me!" Donkey cried, cowering behind the cat.

"Donkey, are you a lamb?" Puss asked, disgustedly.

Donkey looked at his hands. "Well, no."

"Are you a child? Physically?"

"No," Donkey replied, after giving himself a once-over.

"Then what do you have to worry about?"

"Well, we don't know what _he_ eats!" and the mule pointed to the not-wolf thing half-hidden by the shadows.

"Where do you think she got it?" Puss muttered to his friend.

"I- I don't know, but it looks hungry and like it wantsto_eatus_!" Donkey screamed as it lunged at them.

As Puss knocked them both out of the way, he thought quickly.

"Donkey, you get the horse, and I'll distract the lady and her boyfriend."

"'E is _no'_ my man!" The hag called angrily, and flounced off into the shadows, leaving them with the other monster to deal with.

Puss threw a rock at the lone monster, hitting it squarely on the head, angering it, but ensuring that its attention was focused solely on him. It roared, and charged him. He deftly rolled out of the way and glanced at Donkey. The not-human was swiftly untying the horse and fastening the saddlebags.

"Hurry up!" Puss shouted at him, as the thing charged him again.

Suddenly he heard Donkey's voice rising over the roar of the monster. "Puss, _catch_!" A small dagger came flying through the air and he caught it with ease. Not his usual rapier, but close enough. He started hacking at the monster, but to no avail. It was too fast for him to get close enough to score it, and he didn't want to try, not with those claws and teeth.

Just as he was ready to make a final blow and try to run for it with Donkey, who was watching anxiously from the edge of the clearing, an arrow thudded into the monster's shoulder. It screamed, and backed away from Puss. Its crazed red eyes spotted Donkey, and it started to run at him.

The humanoid's eyes widened, and he started to spur the horse as the monster got closer.

In anguish, Puss knew they could never get moving in time. He heard a faint "_Noooooooo!_" that he finally recognized as coming from his own throat as the monster neared Donkey. _He_ couldn't make it- but maybe….

Puss flipped the dagger around and held it by its point. Judging _very_ quickly, he calculated the distance of the monster and the weight of the dagger. He threw- and the dagger thudded home in the monster's back. It uttered a startled whimper, and a second blade thudded into the side of its neck.

'_Okay, that was _not _mine,_' he thought, startled. A third dagger joined the other two in the monster's side, and it dropped to the ground, eyes glazing and breath freezing in its throat. It was dead. A whoop came out of the forest, but he hardly noticed it, running to check on Donkey.

The ass was okay, merely startled, nervy, and quite frightened, but it took quite a bit of reassuring for Donkey to calm the horse down. Puss took the time to distract himself with checking on the Chupacabra.

Indeed, it was a Chupacabra, one of the beasts that supposedly haunted the rainforests, and attacked animals of the bovine and fowl types, sucking them completely dry of blood before taking its leave. In a way, it was vampiric, but this thing was in a class all its own.

La Chupacabra could jump very far with those hind legs, and could probably kill a man with one swipe of its blade-tipped front paws. Not to say that it hadn't; it most likely _had_, but Puss just hadn't had the luck to hear about it.

When he was crouched in front of the monster, examining one of its paws and discovering that the claws were retractable, there was an audible rustle in the bushes. He looked up and yanked the daggers out of La Chupacabra's neck; he might need them. Poising one to throw in his left hand, sticking the third at the ready in his belt, and holding the third in his right, he warily scanned the treeline. Nothing. He glanced at Donkey, and almost screamed when something tapped his shoulder. Rapidly, he spun around, on his heels and confronted the new menace behind him- a pair of legs. To his immense surprise, the intruder seemed to be a young man, a bit younger than Puss, but a lot taller. Honest brown eyes stared down at him, through light brown bangs. The lad had shortish hair, on which was perched a brown mushroom hat. The rest of his clothing seemed to be cobbled together; a brown patched vest, over a dirty white shirt, and on his legs were dark brown leather breeches. He had sturdy boots, and a long sheath with multiple throwing knives was strapped across his chest.

The man immediately offered Puss a hand to help him up, which he cautiously accepted with the hand that wasn't ready to throw a knife.

"Who- who are you?" he asked the new arrival.

"Jack," the man answered simply.

"Jack… do you have a last name?"

"No, only a title." The man seemed a little reluctant to give it, but Puss pressed on.

"Jack- of, the, from, what?"

"I'm known as Jack the Giant Killer," Jack unenthusiastically answered.

"So why aren't you off killing giants?"

"There was only the one, and his wife, so then I came here to try my hand at other things. Like stalking monsters that attack people."

'_A-_hah!_ So it does attack humans!_' Puss thought, a little bit off topic.

"Did someone hire you?" he asked.

"Listen, what's with the third degree?" The lad asked heatedly. "All I need to do is chop the thing's head off, and bring it back to the guy that hired me."

"Si, si. May I just take a few of the spines off of its back?"

"Will you return my daggers?"

They stared at each other, and Puss grudgingly removed the dagger from his belt, and handed it and its mate back to Jack.

"Thanks." Jack proceeded to cut off some of the spines, and handed them to Puss. In return, Puss assisted with the gruesome business to removing the Chupacabra's head. It didn't squirt, but it was rather messy, and being almost obsessive about cleanliness, Puss strived to not get blood or bodily fluids on himself. All in all, it was a rather disgusting deal.


	5. Enter the Big, Brawny, GiantKilling Comp...

**Chapter Five: Enter the Big, Brawny, Giant-Killing Competition.**

After the Chupacabra's head had been removed, and stuffed into a canvas bag that Jack had produced from his belt, and Puss had cleaned and placed the spines in a jar that had been found in Donkey's packs, he finally got to ask Jack-the-Giant-Killer the question that had been nagging at him.

"Why were they following us?" he asked, without preamble.

Jack looked up from where he was cleaning his hands and face at a small stream running along the edge of the clearing.

"Why?" came the answer.

"Who wouldn't want to know why some freaky mutant thing and an old hag were following them?" Donkey butted in sarcastically.

Jack sighed theatrically. "The hag had the Chupacabra waiting outside, and they followed you from the Poison Apple. They lost the trail for a while, but the Chupacabra found it again, and then followed it here, to you. _I'd _been following_ them_ for a few days. You were just the finale to the hunt. I was only hired to get the Chupacabra for five thousand gold, but she's also got a price on her head. She was in with that Hammelin Piper kidnapping/murder thing, but she got out before the Inquisition nabbed him. And the bounty on _her's _more than triple the Chupacabra's, so I figured it was worth tailing them both. I know where she's gone now- back to their hiding place in Neverland- she was talking about it while they were stalking you, 'course. They always do, idiots. Think they're all safe, start talking about their hiding places, and who they're gonna get, then _wham_. I go after them, and then they're all mine." Jack snorted, and Puss was beginning to doubt his and Donkey's personal safety around this guy.

"I don't know where their place actually _is_, of course," Jack rambled on, "but it shouldn't be that hard to find. After all, how many old hags can there be in Never Land?"

"You still haven't answered my question," Puss stated flatly. "Why were they following us?"

"They knew what you were… _are_, Puss in Boots. So do I. They wanted to get back at you for your part in the assassination of the Wendigo that was trying to start an uprising in Toyland."

"Oh, that." Puss remembered _that_ fiasco all too well. The Wendigo had caused much grief among its enemies, since what it did was herald a death in the family of someone who saw it. Unfortunately for those sent to kill it, seeing it could also kill someone in your family; a problem that had yet to be solved by anyone who studied the things, since no one wanted to volunteer for testing. _He _had finally been the one to kill it, since none of the other assassins wanted to get near it when they found out just what it was that they had been hired to kill. Being that he didn't have any family or loved ones, he had cheerfully (as he could get) accepted the job, and slain the Wendigo without much difficulty.

"But why would they be after me?" he asked. "I didn't do anything to _them_, well, really, _her_, personally, except kill the Wendigo."

Pause.

"And that Bodach just jumped in the way," he added.

Jack snorted. "And that Bodach is the problem. He and the Black Annis were… ahem… together, if you catch my drift. So now she wants to get back at you."

"What about the Chupacabra?"

"You think I know? It was probably just along for the ride."

"Great."

"And that's that. You wanna come along and give me a hand hunting the Black Annis, Puss in Boots?"

"Why?"

"Mmm, you seem like an interesting guy, and I could use your help. She's probably got friends waiting for her, and you're a master swordsman. Or you were," Jack added, looking doubtfully at the now mini rapier sheathed in Puss's belt.

"I really should get a new one," Puss said, following Jack's train of thought. "May Donkey come?"

Something akin to displeasure crossed Jack's face, and his voice turned sour. "Sure. Just make sure he doesn't get in the way. You help me kill the BA, and you get a quarter of the gold."

"Half," Puss said instantly.

"A third."

"You're cheating me and you know it. Forty percent or no deal."

"Done," Jack said after some thought.

"Good. When do we go?"

"Now." Jack whistled, and a large sable horse trotted out of the trees. Donkey led the horse over, interested, and Puss realized something; three people, two horses, much baggage.

"Um, Jack, there's only two horses, and there's three people here."

"That's alright, you can ride with me, Puss," Donkey said.

"On that thing?" Jack said rudely, as he mounted his horse. "You have too much weight on the animal as it is. _I_ travel lightly. Come on, Puss. _My_ horse can carry double."

"Hey. Puss is _my- mmph_!" Puss clapped his hand over Donkey's mouth before the mule could say anything damaging. He needed to defuse the situation if they wanted to get out of here without a fight.

"It's alright, Donkey. I'll ride with Jack." Puss nodded at the bounty hunter and leapt up behind him, in front of the baggage strapped to the horse's rump.

Donkey scowled and got on his horse, which hardly blinked at the humanoid's weight.

"Too much weight, my ass," he muttered.

"Relax, Donkey. How far is it to Neverland?" The latter part was directed at Jack.

"About… two days from here. Since we can't exactly fly, we'll be taking a more mundane way- we'll be walking, and later on sailing" Jack said.

"I thought you had to fly to get there," Donkey frowned.

"Of course _you_ wouldn't know. The people in the _other_ worlds can't get to Neverland except for flying, but it's just another tiny island in the vast body of water that we all call the Western Sea, which in itself, links to Narnia."

He suddenly grinned at back at Puss as he spurred his horse. "And that, my friend," he said, completely ignoring the fuming Donkey, "is where her second hideout is."

"What would she need a second hideout for?" Donkey asked curiously.

"For precisely this reason, Ass," Jack shot at him, yet for no visible reason that Puss could see. The man seemed to have an inexplicable dislike for Donkey. "To retreat to when she's got hunters on her trail."

"Oh."

"So how will we get to Neverland?" Puss asked curiously.

"I've got a few friends who own ships. One of them should be at or near Gryffin's bay. If they're not, I'll just buy some space on a Neverland-bound ship. Hopefully we won't need to travel on the Jolly Roger; the new Captain's a jerk, and the crew's not much better."

"And how long will it take to get to Neverland, or from here to there to Narnia?"

"Well, to Neverland'll take about a day or two, depending on the weather, and from there to Narnia's about another day… so in all, it would take us about four days to get to Narnia if we're lucky, six if we're not."

Puss calculated everything in his head, and came up with one summary. '_That would make it a week, and when we get to Narnia, I'd have to make my decision, on top of everything else… Can I do this?'_ Yes, he told himself. '_I can do this, and I'll make my decision, and it will be the right one._'

Yet as they rode off, neither Puss nor Jack noticed the determined expression on Donkey's face, but the longing within his eyes as he stared after the couple.


	6. The Sleazy Bounty Hunter Finds a Ship

**Chapter Six: The Sleazy Bounty Hunter Finds a Ship. **

Indeed, it took them two days to reach the harbor at Griffin's Bay, and by that time Donkey was angry beyond reason. Jack had been making constant passes at Puss, (who seemed completely oblivious to Jack's actions, offensive _or_ sexual) and was unbelievably rude to Donkey, who was ready to jump him at the first opportunity.

'_How dare he,_' he fumed as they rode beneath the outer walls protecting Griffin's Bay. '_How _dare _he try to pull a move on _my_ Puss. Just wait 'til he's alone with his back turned… wait. Did I just think _'my' _Puss?_'

'_Yes you did,_' another part of him commented sardonically. '_And he wasn't yours to begin with._'

'_Shut up. He's my True Love. I should think that makes him something to me._'

'_He may be your True Love, but who's to say that _you're his_ True Love?_'

'_He's mine, and I'm his. That's the way it works. That's the way it always ends- with a happy ending. "_And they lived happily ever after.'

'_But there will be no happy ending for you,_' the voice commented pessimistically. '_There will never be a happy ending for you if Puss doesn't love you. And he doesn't. You like him and Jack likes him. Who will Puss choose? And if he chooses Jack, what will happen to you? Will you turn back into a Donkey, and go back to annoying Shrek and Fiona for the rest of your undoubtedly short life? Or if Jack turns out to be Puss's True Love, what will happen to you then?_'

Could that happen? Could one person have one True Love and then be a different person's True Love? Was that even possible? The mule wondered.

This was all too confusing for Donkey, and he decided to try and distract himself by looking around at the town, and concentrate on following Jack and Puss, who seemed to be too far ahead of him in the crowd. People pressed against him from all sides, and not all of them seemed nice. In fact, one of them was trying-to-slip-his-fingers-into-Donkey's-pocket!

Donkey made a snatch for the lightfingers, but the boy slipped away before Donkey could touch him. Frantically, Donkey felt for his beltpouch. Still there. He breathed a sigh of relief, but then he realized- it was empty.

"Damn it!" he swore, and spurred his horse through the mob, keeping his feet positioned over the saddlebag-covers and one hand on his remaining beltpouch.

"Where were you?" Puss asked when a panting Donkey pushed through the crowds to his side, _carrying_ his saddlebags and leading his horse by the reins.

"Damn- pickpocket- stole my damn- purse," he gasped out in between breaths.

"You _are_ kidding, right?" Jack asked incredulously. All three were now dismounted, and Jack was holding his own horse's reins close to the bridle.

"No- I'm not. It's kind of hard- to keep track of everything- that's been loaded on _my_ horse in a busy town," he said, finally managing to catch his breath.

Jack threw him a glare over Puss's head that clearly read, _idiot_, before he turned around and began to lead his companions toward the one inn that actually looked reputable. They tethered their horses outside, under the glare of a one-armed guard that shifted his mace and scowled threateningly. Donkey picked up the packs and felt himself shrink under the man's gaze, but followed Jack, whose arm was around Puss's shoulders in a way that was making Donkey's blood boil.

When they got inside, the bounty-hunter arrowed straight for the bar and asked for someone named 'Caspian,' but then he glowered upon learning that Caspian was out to sea and wouldn't return for several months. He gestured for the other two to go sit at a table in the common room in the front of the inn, and Donkey took the offer gladly, eager to sit somewhere that wasn't going to make him get sores on his butt. He hadn't counted on human skin being so soft and tender!

Donkey grabbed Puss's hand and dragged him off to one of the tables farthest from the wall where Jack was making his inquiries. "Puss, I really think this is a bad idea," he began with no preamble.

Puss blinked. "Why?"

"Look at the guy! He's been keeping us apart since we set off on this whole thing, he hates me, and he's dragging us off on some harebrained scheme to catch some old hag in two lands we know nothing about! Not to mention he's been hitting on you ever since we met up with him," he hissed.

The cat actually looked startled for a moment, and then a small grin spread across his face. "Donkey, I think you're jealous."

Donkey felt mortified. "I am not! Just because I'm all worried about you, you think I'm jealous? Dream on, Pussy."

"Then what's bothering you?"

"Well, let's see… I get one of my purses stolen by a pickpocket, we're in a sleazy town with sleazy people, traveling with some sleazy bounty hunter, and looking for some sleazy old hag to get some money. The sleazy bounty hunter has his sleazy lil eye on you, has been putting his sleazy hands all over you, and you don't seem to care that we only have four days left! Four days, and you're getting distracted by Mister-Giant-Killer! We will never have another chance at this, Puss, and you're wasting the time we have left. What do I have to do to make you love me? Love me and not him?" Donkey tried to put all of his sincerity into his eyes, and looked searchingly at Puss, looking for _any_ sign that he may have gotten through to the cat.

"Donkey," Puss begain. "I-" but he was interrupted by Jack returning to them, looking slightly angry.

"Come on," he said, grabbing Puss by the arm and pulling him out of his chair. "We need to leave now. I managed to book us passage on something _other _than the Jolly Roger, but they're leaving in the next half-hour, and we need to report to the dock and I need to straighten everything out with the Captain."

He dragged Puss out of the inn, leaving a startled Donkey in his seat, but then the angry mule stood up, grabbed their things, and ran after the two.

'_If I didn't know any better, I'd say he was _trying _to leave me behind,_' Donkey thought angrily as he chased Puss's retreating figure.

As Donkey caught up with them, he could hear Puss asking Jack about the horses.

"Horatio will take care of them until we get back. I've known him for a long time and I can trust him. Did that guy grab the bags?"

"'That guy' has a name, and his name is Donkey," Puss reprimanded him.

"Right, right," Jack sighed. He looked off into space for a moment before Puss asked another question.

"So who's the Captain?"

"Oh… I've never met him before, but he's supposed to be one of the best pirates on the seas. The ship's called the Black Pearl, and the Captain's name is Jack Sparrow."

Donkey blinked. Where had he heard that name before? Jack Sparrow… Jack Sparrow… the name rang a bell, but the bell was dirty and cracked… well, he'd probably remember when he met the guy. Hopefully it was something good, not bad- like the old Keebler Place. That place still gave him nightmares…. Elves… elves with big heads and small bodies that hit things with hammers. He'd never look at cookies the same way again.

Cookies… mmm. He wondered if there were any around this sleazy harbor town. Probably not, but he took a quick glance around anyway. Nope. When he looked up, however, Jack and Puss were gone, leaving him alone with the bags in the street, surrounded by people who didn't give a damn about anything. He sighed.

"Why me?"

And he set off down the street, laboring under the weight of the bags, and wondering how in hell he was going to find the _Black Pearl._


	7. Mr Sparrow, I presume?

**Chapter Seven: Mr. Sparrow, I presume? **

"There it is… the _Black Pearl_," Jack announced, pointing at the rather battered looking vessel moored at the end of the dock.

"It looks kind of… ratty."

"Yes it does, but don't tell the captain that. He's rather sensitive about the ship."

"Ah. Donkey, what-" Puss looked around. "Donkey?" The dark man was nowhere in sight… again. Puss sighed. "Jack, have you seen Donkey?"

"Can't say that I have," Jack said. "But then again, he could get lost in a hedge-maze with four lanes."

Puss stared at him. Jack _was_ starting to sound like he really did hate Donkey.

"Jack," he said slowly. "Donkey is much smarter than you give him credit for. Why do you hate him so much?"

The bounty hunter's answer surprised him.

"He's competition," the man said bluntly. "I've been making it clear that you're mine, and he doesn't get the picture."

Puss burst out laughing. "I'm _yours_? _Madre de dios_, I have never heard such a lie!"

Jack looked hurt. "Is that all I am?" he asked. "A lie?"

Puss sighed again. "Jack, you aren't a lie. I gave Donkey my word that I would give him a chance to woo me, and with you around, he has been too angry to even make an attempt. Frankly, you are much better looking than he is, but I have to make a choice in the next four days."

"Why?" Jack asked, dark eyes alight, for once with curiosity and not mischief.

"You could say that we're under a curse of a sort," Puss answered cautiously. "This… is not my true form."

"Then what-" Before Jack could ask what Puss's true form was, the cat cut him off.

"You'll find out in four days, if I do not choose Donkey. I swear to you, though, that if it is this form that you like, and I choose you, I will do everything in my power to keep it."

"But-" Jack began again, and the swordsman cut him off again.

"You. Will. Find. Out. In. Four. Days."

"Fine," Jack grumbled. "Let's go meet the captain and tell him that we're here. And to quote Mike- he was the bartender- 'Do _not_ mention rum, women, the state of the ship except for a compliment, or the fact that you're open to either sex.' From what I hear, he's the faggiest straight man that ever sailed the Seas, and he's got sexual appetite enough for forty men."

A man with a sex drive that wouldn't quit? He sounded rather interesting…

"Puss? Puss, are you listening to me?" Jack asked impatiently.

"Huh? Oh yeah," said Puss, snapping back to reality.

"So remember what I said," Jack said as they approached the ship. "Just try to let me do all the talking."

A short, portly man with glasses accosted them as they reached the end of the dock, clearly headed for the _Pearl_

"You would be Jack an' company, I presume?" he asked in a gruff tone.

"Ah- yes, we-"

"They said there would be two people with you, not one. Where's the other one?"

"We lost him somewhere back there," Jack said as he waved a hand carelessly behind them. "And you are?"

"First Mate Gibbs, sir. Cap'n says you're to follow me to his quarters an' wait there. The ship's not leaving for another two hours."

"But the bartender said it was a half-hour!" Puss said.

"Schedule's changed," Gibbs said shortly. "I'm s'posed to bring you to the Cap'n's quarters, so-"

"Right, then," Jack said. "Off we go."

Gibbs looked annoyed at being interrupted, but motioned for them to follow him up the gangplank that led to the ship.

As he led them to the Captain's quarters, Puss looked about the ship with interest. Scattered around the ship, doing various jobs that didn't seem very appealing were men. The sails of the ship were black, and slightly tattered, but the men didn't seem to care in the least. The deck seemed semi-clean, and the mast seemed in fairly good condition, so the ship couldn't be _that_ bad.

Gibbs stopped in front of the one structure on the deck of the ship- a box with windows- and unlocked it with a key.

"You two wait in here. An' don't touch anything!" He left without another word, leaving Jack and Puss to find chairs in the sparsely decorated room. The only thing that seemed to be a main thing among the few items was rum. Empty bottles were scattered across the floor, and full and half-full bottles were stashed in corners of peeking out of trunks.

'_I guess he wasn't kidding about the rum thing,_' Puss thought, slightly amused. He sat gingerly on an empty trunk, and Jack chose to lean against the small space of wall that didn't have anything blocking it from the floor. Puss just sat there quietly for a while, studying the contents of the cabin boredly, while Jack occasionally got up to look out the window.

After what seemed like hours, there was shouting from outside, and Gibbs came back, dragging a frightened looking Donkey behind him. "This yours?" he asked sarcastically.

"Yes, we-" Jack began, but Gibbs cut him off.

"He snuck onto the ship and was wandering around until one of the crew finally grabbed him. Make sure that he _stays_ here, and for God's sake, keep him quiet!" He released Donkey, who slumped forward into the room, packages looking very heavy and the man who carried them exhausted.

Puss scrambled forward and pulled the packages off of Donkey, who gratefully let go of them.

"How did you find the ship?" Jack asked, eyes glinting with what seemed to be suspicion.

Donkey apparently still had the strength to glare, for he shot a death look at Jack. "A little bird told me," he said through gritted teeth. "Thanks for helping with the bags."

"Oh, no problem," Jack said casually. "How long were you looking for us?"

"Long enough. I got lost in the worst district of town, got propositioned by some she-he-dog thing, nearly ran into a gangfight between a bunch of cats and dogs, which got interrupted by another cat, got followed by some little crawling dude who kept whining about some ring, and then got led to the docks by the creepy guy, who followed me into an alley and jumped me, screaming about his 'Precious'. I hit him with a rock and he ran off, and then I just went along the dock, asking for the _Black Pearl_. Clear enough for you, buddy?" He asked Jack.

The bounty hunter actually looked impressed. "Crystal clear."

"Good. Now, if you don't mind, I'm going to sleep." Donkey practically fell onto the chest that Puss had been sitting on, and propped his back up against it, closing his eyes. Puss studied him carefully as the man's face relaxed. He really _did_ look exhausted, strong features sagging and sweat shining against dark mahogany skin. He _did _look sort of striking… in a tired, worn-out way, that was. The combination of his dark hair and features were eye-catching in a way that that Puss had never really noticed before. His features softened even more, and Puss felt his breath catching slightly. Donkey was so- so-

"Admiring th' view?" Donkey asked.

Immediately Puss colored. "Ah- sort of." He couldn't believe that Donkey had caught him staring.

"Good. Admirin' the good things 's fun. Soun's like… me…t' me…" he slurred as his features slackened completely and his muscles relaxed.

Puss looked over at Jack, who raised an eyebrow and snorted. "He'll be fine. I wonder when the Captain's going to come back. I want to get started."

"Eager?" Puss asked.

"No… I just want to get this job over with. I've been after the Annis for long enough. Sure, the reward's nice and high, but what good is being a high-profile bounty hunter when you can only take small cases?"

"Good point." Puss would have said more, but just then the door flew open and silhouetted in it stood what was apparently Jack Sparrow. The man wasn't very physically intimidating, and he _reeked_ of alcohol.

"Mr. Sparrow, I presume?" Jack asked.

"It's _Captain_ Sparrow. You'd be the three lads traveling to Neverland?" he asked, in a surprisingly only slightly slurred voice.

"Yes. Jack and companions," Jack supplied.

"Yeah. Lemme give you the rundown. There will be no fighting on my ship unless I am there to place a bet, no drinking unless I am there to drink with you, and no women unless I get a fair share. Stay out of my men's way and they will not harm you. I cannot guarantee safety otherwise."

"That's it?" Puss asked, surprised. Weren't ships supposed to have a lot more rules?

"Oh, and no touching Anamaria. The last man that tried to lay a hand on her lost a tooth for his trouble." Jack winced, and grinned at them. He was missing three teeth.

"Three times?"

"Only one unless you happen to be me, that is."

"Oh."

"Ship leaves in a half hour. You have fifteen minutes to get your things in order, and be up on deck by then. I will give you instructions on what to do in emergencies there. Savvy?"

Jack looked at Puss, who shrugged. He had no idea of what the word 'savvy' meant.

"Savvy," both men chorused, a muffled, '_shavvvvvvy_' coming from Donkey.


	8. To Neverland, among other things

**Chapter Eight: To Neverland, among other things. **

Donkey, Jack, and Puss sat in their small cabin in the bowels of the ship, staring at each other.

"We've been in here for four hours," Puss said. "Four hours, and we're all bored out of our minds. It's still going to be another day and a half before we reach Neverland, and we have nothing to do. Any ideas?"

"Find a way to entertain yourself," Jack said.

Immediately, Donkey's face lit up and he pursed and blew out his lips, making a _pop-_ing sound. Jack looked at him, and he did it again.

_Pop_.

"Puss, do you think that-"

_Pop_.

"We could possibly-"

_Pop_.

Jack started to look annoyed.

_Pop_.

"Play cards or something?"

Silence.

"I'll play," Puss said enthusiastically, willing to try anything to alleviate the boredom.

"Me, too," Donkey added.

Jack looked aggravated for a moment, and sighed. "Fine. Puss, will you please get a deck of cards out of my bag? It's in the small pouch in the front."

Puss got the deck of cards out of Jack's large brown leather pack and handed it to Donkey, who passed it to Jack. The cards came out of the case, revealing themselves to be long with strange designs on the back that looked to have the symbol of a sun, moon, and stars.

"What kind of cards are these?" Donkey asked.

"I got them from Avalon. You can buy anything there, from Diet Ale to human lives. So, what game?"

"Poker?" Puss suggested, just as Donkey said enthusiastically, "Go Fish!"

Jack groaned. "You are kidding me, right?"

"What's wrong with Go Fish?" Donkey asked.

"Go Fish is probably the easiest card game to play. Do you know anything else?" Puss asked Donkey.

"I know Blackjack, and I know a little bit of poker, and Rummy, and War."

"Blackjack."

Jack dealt the cards and they started playing while waiting for nightfall and the chance to sleep, and to find out sleeping arrangements.

After fifty hands, Puss was losing quite badly, Jack was doing little better, and Donkey was king of the hill.

After a hundred hands, the stats were the same, only two hours had passed, and as Jack was dealing the one-hundredth and sixteenth hand, a small bell on deck chimed, signaling that it was dinnertime.

With groans of relief, they got up off of the cold wooden floor and exited the small cabin and headed for the galley. Tonight's menu featured rum and pigeon pie, and they were all eager for any food.

After dinner, the three went back to their cabin to try to get some sleep, only to find a problem that none had noticed before; they were three, yet there were only two bunks.

"This could be a problem," Puss said.

"Don't worry," Jack said. He yawned and stretched his arms up- and coincidentally one landed around Puss's shoulders. "You can sleep with me."

"No. Way." Donkey ground out. "He's sleeping with me."

"Sorry, Ass. I called him first."

"Rock Paper Scissors?"

"Fine."

"Rock, Paper, Scissors, sh-"

"Dynamite!" Donkey yelled gleefully.

"There is no 'dynamite'," Jack groused.

"Yes there is! See, you splay your fingers like this and-"

"Donkey, there is no 'dynamite' in Rock Paper Scissors. As you two cannot decide who gets to sleep with me for the night, I will sleep on the floor. _Comprende_?"

He was met with blank stares from the other two. "Understand?"

Donkey tried to protest. "You can sleep with me! Jack won't mind."

"Yes I will!" The bounty hunter shouted.

"Oh, stop it, both of you! I'm sleeping on the floor and that's final!"

The next day and night went much the same way with the only variation being that the game was Mancala, and Puss managed to beat the other two. He wound up sleeping on the cold, hard wooden floor again, despite his protesting back. His now-hurting-very-severly back wasn't what awakened him before dawn, though.

"Land Ho!" A sailor's cry came crying into the cabin.

"Whazzaat?" Donkey mumbled from his half-gymnastic position of one leg behind his head and arms locked in an uncomfortable-looking way, head twisted at an angle.

"I think it's land," Jack slurred from his own bunk. "'S Neverland. We won' make landfall 'til later this morning, though. Sleep now."

And with that he fell back onto his bunk, but Puss couldn't get back to sleep because his back was hurting so much and besides- he was curious to see this Neverland. He made his way out onto the deck where even now there were sailors; albeit few, but there were enough to keep the ship on course; and all gave him semi-odd looks when he stopped and rested at the railing on the port side. He shook his head muzzily and tried to find the sun to stare at so he would wake up faster. '_Must be that if any passengers are ever on this ship, they all sleep late._'

Got it. He'd found the sun; now all he had to do was stare at it until the light registered in his sleep-mazed brain and he woke up a bit.

He folded his arms and leaned them on the railing, resting his head on top of them and searching for the seemingly nonexistent land that the sailor had spotted. There was nothing but water for miles in any direction.

Water, water everywhere until it melded with the pink light of dawn behind the ship and the still-starlit ebony expanse stretching in front of them.

'_Pretty_,' he thought abstractedly while looking for a smudge of land on any horizon.- preferably the one they were sailing for, but any land would be good. Eventually as the sun peeked its golden crown over the edge of the world he spotted it- a tiny bit of horizon that was darker than the rest of the thin line dividing water from sky. He squinted and thought that he could see a few mountains, but gave up when his eyes started to ache. When he finally got bored with watching the skyline, he wandered back into the bowels of the ship to sit in the galley with his back braced against the wall, watching the few sailors rolling dice through half-lidded eyes, and tried to persuade the pain in his back to go away. He must have fallen asleep, because the next thing he knew; there were sounds of yelling and pounding feet from up on the deck as they were apparently docking. The galley was deserted, and Puss stretched with a satisfied purr.

He walked up the set of stairs leading to the deck to find it filled with running, shouting men and Captain Sparrow was standing at the helm, shouting orders and looking very… well, roguish would be one of the words that Puss would have used to describe him. _Cocky_ would be another. A self-satisfied smirk played about his lips as he surveyed his crew and ship, and Puss felt a sudden wave of- nothing. And realization. He'd felt a tad bit of attraction to the man before he'd met him, but the Captain seemed a bit too… self-centered for Puss's tastes. He dismissed the thought and searched the throng for his companions. Jack was nowhere to be found, but Donkey was at the stern of the ship, apparently pestering the faithful Mr. Gibbs, who was answering all of Donkey's questions with a ragged patience as he struggled to winch in one of the smaller sails.

A small imp of guilt tapped him on the shoulder as he realized that he'd left the Attention-Deficit-Donkey with nothing to do but ask questions of people that most likely didn't want to be bothered. He cast his eyes to the railing of the ship and an idea formed in his mind. '_Might as well show off. I've nothing better to do these days._' And he launched himself at the railing, swinging over it and catching a rope swinging from the mast. Holding the coarse rope firmly in his hands, he ran horizontally along the side of the ship until he'd reached the other side, then flipped back over the railing to land behind the portly man and the dark-skinned human. He tapped them both on the shoulders. "Guess who," he whispered, green eyes sparkling. Both men spun around, the not-quite-used-to-ships Donkey losing his balance and toppling onto Puss, effectively spoiling his fun.

"Uh, hi," he whispered in a slightly choked sort of voice, and Puss could feel Donkey's heartbeat speed up. It wasn't hard; Donkey was sprawled over Puss like a blanket- not that the cat was complaining, of course.

Puss was suddenly captivated by the deep chocolate eyes. "Hi," he whispered back.

They stared into each other's eyes, captivated until a surly voice broke the connection. "If you two lads are finished, would you like to help me with this?"

"Oh, Mr. Gibbs! Of course." Puss shot out from under Donkey and grabbed the winch, winding it back and around and around counterclockwise until the first mate told him to stop.

"Thank you, lad," the older man said, shooting him a grateful look.

"Uh- _de nada._"

Gibbs stared at him for a moment, then shook his head. "Sure."

An hour later they were standing on Neverlandian soil; the beach was quite short in this area, and it had only been a sort trek up through the white crystal sands to the forest that bordered the shore.

"We'll wait for you here," Gibbs said shortly. "If'n you're not back by tomorrow night, you'll have to make friends with the natives an' wait for the nex' boat, understand?"

All three men nodded; Jack had been found back in his bunk, still sleeping, and Donkey had gleefully accepted Puss's offer to take the dinner-bell and ring it scant inches from Jack's ear. The bounty hunter was now determinedly ignoring both Donkey _and_ Puss, and only said things to them when it was desperately needed. Now armed with weapons of good make, and proper fitting- Jack was armed with a crossbow slung over one shoulder; Donkey had armed himselfwith quite a few daggers and a borrowed two-by-four; and Puss was using a rapier borrowed from Captain Sparrow himself. "It comes back or none of you will," the dark man had said, with a tone of complete seriousness contrasting with his normally jubilant tones. Puss had gulped and nodded and taken the rapier and swiftly left the cabin.

With grim determination, they took their first steps into a jungle paradise haunted by a lonely, flying menace and forgotten children that laughed and played with danger that no child should ever know.


	9. To Meet, Perchance to Love

**Chapter Nine: To Meet, Perchance to Love **

"It's hot," Donkey complained. They'd been trudging through the undergrowth in the rainforest for more than two hours, with no sign of any landmarks or people, and the two-by-four was getting heavy.

"I know." Puss said.

"I'm sticky."

"I know." Puss said.

"I'm wet."

Jack paused to look at him. "Aren't you always?"

Donkey glared at him. The animosity between them had settled down to verbal sparring; they didn't have much energy in the hot, sticky, damp rainforest of Neverland.

"Jack, that was disgusting."

The man didn't bat an eye. "I like being 'disgusting.' Moreover, I would like _you_ to be 'disgusting'… for me."

'_Oh my god._' "Where are we?" asked Donkey, determined to ignore the statement.

"Check the map," Puss told him. "Make sure we're still on the right trail.

Donkey pulled a rather battered-looking map out of his beltpouch and unfolded it. "It says that we need to continue going this way, and eventually we'll get to a really big tree with animal shapes carved into it a little way in. Then we-"

"Animal shapes?" Jack interrupted curiously. "Did we need to turn at any point to _get _to that tree?"

"Uh, yeah, but it was only a fifteen-degree turn, and I figured that since that wasn't really a big turn, we could keep going and-"

"Donkey! Fifteen degrees is a big turn! What were you thinking?!" Puss burst out.

If Donkey had ears, they would have been drooping. "I'm sorry," he said in a small voice.

"Sorry?" asked Jack. "You're _sorry?_ We're lost in a _jungle_ full of _pirates_, _Indians_, and _Lost Boys_ that will all sooner attack you than befriend you! You _stupid, imbecilic-_" It seemed that the heat had finally gotten to the bounty hunter.

"That's enough," Puss said sharply, interrupting Jack's tirade before the man could start screaming and alert every creature on the island to their presence.

Apparently the beginnings of the rant had been enough, because not twenty seconds later, before the party could get moving again, they found themselves surrounded by a bunch of boys dressed in animal skins and ratty clothing, with various weapons pointed their way.

"Er-"

A rooster call came out of the branches above them, and an older boy dropped out of the canopy to land between the bounty-seekers and the boys, arms crossed in front of his chest.

"Who are you?" he demanded imperiously.

Donkey nudged Jack in the ribs, and the bounty hunter took the hint to take over. "Jack the Giant Killer, Puss in Boots, and… Donkey, here to find the Black Annis."

"That old hag?" one of the boys said, loudly. "What d' you want with _her_?"

"Books!" One of the boys exclaimed. "Don't speak when Peter's making a _biz_-ness deal!"

"Bounty," Jack said simply, if that explained it. Apparently it did, for the first boy to speak- apparently Peter- relaxed, and the other boys took it as a cue and relaxed as well.

"She's not here," Peter said shortly.

"She was here for a day and then she left," the same boy from before chimed in.

Now three boys exclaimed what was apparently the boy's name. "_Books_!"

Peter smiled at the boy indulgently, and the others snapped to rigid attention. "She left from the opposite side of the island than she arrived from. I think she was going to Narnia. You can check her hideout if you like."

"We _would_ like," Puss said. "Can you take us there?"

"Can you fly?" Peter asked mischievously.

"Well- no," Puss said.

"I did!" Donkey volunteered.

"Can you still?" Peter asked.

"Well- no," Donkey said. "But I know you have to be sprinkled with pixie dust, and think happy thoughts! That's how it happened last time!" he said, remembering the time when that old woman had tried to turn him in to Lord Farquaad's men, and that pixie's cage had whacked him over the head, sprinkling him with pixie dust and giving him flight for all of ten seconds.

"Right, then," Peter said. "OI, TINK!"

A tiny blonde fairy flew out from a tree and landed on Peter's shoulder.

"Yes?" she asked in a surprisingly normal voice.

"Can you sprinkle these three with enough pixie dust for two hours?"

"Sure," she answered with a cheerful smile.

"Why're you so happy?" Donkey heard Jack mutter.

The fairy smirked and flew over to Jack, hovering in front of him, hands on her hips. "Wouldn't you like to know?" She asked.

"Yeah, actually. I would," Jack said. Donkey noticed that his eyes had glazed over a bit and he snickered. Either the fairy was working some magic that wasn't working on either Puss or Donkey, or Jack was seeing something in the little winged being that no one else saw.

"Tink!" Peter barked, and Donkey noticed that the fairy had the same moonstruck expression on her face that Jack had on his, and she jumped. "Yes!" She flew up into the air and circled the three outsiders and then landed on Jack's shoulder. "Want me to take them to Skull Rock?" She asked Peter.

"If you want." The green-clad boy shrugged and flew off, and the Lost Boys followed him, leaving the fairy alone with the three men, seemingly not caring about Tink's fate.

"Now think happy thoughts," she instructed once the boys had all gone.

Puss had an expression on his face that reminded Donkey of that one time Shrek had been complaining about the baked beans before he'd run off into the woods, but Jack rose up into the air not three seconds after Tink had given her instructions. Determined to beat him, Donkey immediately closed his eyes and started thinking of happy things. _Fiona's face when they'd burst into the chapel to save her from Farquaad… his mother… Puss's eyes… the time he'd become a stallion…_ He felt the ground drop away from under him but didn't open his eyes or stop concentrating. _Shrek's face when he'd seen Fiona in ogre form for the first time… trotting in place… flying for the first time… his kids' faces for the first time… his kids' faces when Dragon had torn them away from him…_

His feet and chin met the ground abruptly as the happy thoughts left. A footstep an inch from his nose made him open his eyes to meet the concerned green ones of Puss. _Puss's back, pressed against his stomach, legs wrapped around Donkey's own legs…realizing that Donkey was safe after the Chupacabra attack…_

"You alright?"

"Just… Just thinkin' about my kids, that's all." Puss's face grew slightly blurry as Donkey's eyes teared up. "It's nothing. Go back to practicing. I'll meet you up in the air as soon as I can."

Puss looked confused. "Donkey… we're _in_ the air."

_Huh?_

Donkey looked down to see the top of a lot of trees floating around _way _too far below them. He uttered a startled yelp before Jack started laughing, and Donkey saw the bounty hunter do a few loops around the fairy before zooming straight up into a cloud. He fell out, drenched before Puss caught his hand to keep him from making a sudden introduction to the rainforest floor.

"So why _was_ Peter so happy?" Donkey heard Puss ask Jack as he released the bounty hunter.

"Something about his current girl," the other man answered. "Tink said something about her staying for good, and that she's realized that Peter's as fickle as a man can get. She said that Rapunzel- that's the girl- is really vain and obnoxious and bitchy about her _long golden _hair. Says they deserve each other."

Jack seemed really happy too; happier than Donkey had ever seen him. Briefly he wondered why before he cast the thought from his mind in favor of flying. Tink sped off in a seemingly random direction with Jack following. Puss glanced at Donkey. "Vamos!" And sped off after the other two. Donkey tucked his two-by-four more firmly into his belt, and with happy thoughts firmly in mind, followed Puss to Skull Rock.

* * *

"Nothing."

"I wouldn't say that," said Puss.

Indeed, there was quite a lot in the small room; a lavish bed complete with curtains drawn to the sides, a large writing desk in a corner, and a large vanity mirror hanging on the wall.

"This is nice," Donkey said appreciatively. "Why didn't the Never-boys take any of this?"

Tink answered the question nicely, though the answer was really… dry. "Because they never came here. The castle holds no interest to them, and they are more content to fight with each other and the pirates."

"Oh."

"Well, let's have a look. Maybe we'll find something telling us where she's gone. She could have very well gone to somewhere other than Narnia," Tink said. She'd obviously been apprised of the situation by Jack.

"True."

The four split into two groups; Puss with Donkey and Tink with Jack.

"So Narnia, huh?" Donkey said, trying to initiate a conversation with Puss.

"Yep."

"What's in Narnia?"

"No idea."

"Cool."

After an hour of searching, they'd found nothing except for a small map of Narnia with some writing on it.

"It looks like she's hiding in the woods with the lamp-post," Tink said. "Although she could have left that here to throw us off. She could be in Cair Paravel, too."

"Cair whatsit?" Donkey asked, confused. Lamp-post? Cair Paravel? What the heck was Cair-thingy?

"Cair Paravel, idiot." Jack said. "It's a place in Narnia. You should know that."

"No I _don't_ know that," Donkey said, fed up with all the references to places he knew nothing about. "What the hell is Cair Paravel?"

That simple sentence initiated a sit-down in which Donkey, Puss, and even Jack, though he knew more than the other two, learned more about Narnia than they ever wanted to know about Narnia and its long history, thoughtfully provided by Tink, who's real name was Tinkerbelle, as Donkey soon learned.

Narnia was the country across the sea, which was in itself a branch of 'Aslan's country' though Donkey was still mystified as to what _that_ could be. Its first leaders and only leaders were Kings Peter and Edmund and Queen Lucy, though there were also King Frank, Queen Helen, and King Tirian, as well as a bunch of other assorted Kings and Queens, but they had all ruled before Narnia had appeared on the Westernmost edge of the ocean, linking the rest of the world to Aslan's country. Now it was ruled by the aforementioned three, but mostly by High King Peter, even though there really wasn't much for him to do; there were no wars and no uprisings, really it was just a boring country where many people went to rest, and many old people made a pilgrimage to die there. Jack had said something about a cross and a religion, but Donkey hadn't really been listening by that point.

"Okay, okay, okay!" He said finally, interrupting Jack in the middle of, "_and lo, He said unto Me-_"

"Can we _please _get back to the ship? It's really late and Puss is already asleep!" Donkey pointed at the not-cat asleep on his shoulder. He wasn't exactly pleased to make them go back to the ship- he was rather comfortable with Puss on his shoulder like this, but his back would make him regret it later if he didn't sleep on a bed.

"Fine," Jack huffed. He looked annoyed at being interrupted, but Donkey just ignored it.

"Tinkerbelle, we're out of gas. Can you juice us?" Jack asked.

"Gas? Juice?" She looked confused.

"Can you give us more dust?" Donkey explained quietly as he picked Puss up.

"Oh, sure." She flew around them again, giving them enough dust (Donkey thought) to last for a few hours, at least.

Donkey shifted Puss in his arms and followed Tink and Jack out the window, buoyed simple by the feeling of Puss in his arms.

When they finally made it back to the ship, it was past midnight, and there were only a few sailors on the deck. All were startled when the three men landed on the roof of the Captain's cabin accompanied by a fairy. All were also ignored by the two awake (and one sleeping) men and fairy as they split up, two descending to their cabin and one man and the fairy choosing to remain on deck and sleep under the stars. Despite himself, Donkey did think it was pretty cute, and with a sense of relief, began to hope that Jack might have found something that was even more interesting than Puss. He gently laid the still sleeping man on one bed, then retreated to his own, content to stare at the sleeping form of his True Love, and then descended into sleep himself, even tethered to the bed by two belts as he was when he discovered that he kept floating off the mattress.

* * *

The golden cliffs in the distance were growing larger every second, and Jack marveled at their magnificence. Tinkerbelle had described them, of course, in minute detail, but not even the greatest poet or writer, or even the greatest painter could put to paper or canvas the beauty of these golden cliffs. They rose high into the air, and Jack wondered how they would dock or get into a port. Perhaps they would sail along the cliff face until a harbor came into view? He couldn't see anything at the moment, and gave up in favor of continuing his discussion with Tinkerbelle about Rapunzel. Perhaps it wasn't really much of a _discussion _so much as listening to the fairy rant about Rapunzel's vanity and apparent obsession with Peter. Not that Jack had a problem of listening to her, of course.

In fact… all thoughts of seducing Puss had flown out the window the second he'd heard Tink's voice, and Jack was wondering if he'd caught something in the few hours they'd been on Neverland. After they'd come back to the ship, he'd chosen to sleep on the deck; it was a nice night, and he wanted to learn more about the fairy that had seemingly entranced him. She personally had no problem with leaving her homeland, and seemed rather entertained at the thought of anyone missing her, which had upset Jack a little. _He _personally wasn't anyone to watch over, but Tink didn't look like she'd ever done any harm other than betray Wendy, and that was completely understandable. They'd left Neverland ahead of schedule, and changed course straight for Narnia. It had taken some persuading on Jack's part; Captain Sparrow seemed rather unwilling to do anything until Jack had bribed him with a few bottles of rum he'd picked up in Everland. The Captain had been _amazingly_ pliant after that, and after the promise of more rum to follow had had no problems with changing the itinerary of the trip.

So they'd set sail, and a few hours out had run into a storm that had blown them a day off course, and they were now heading into port at the fabled Cair Paravel instead of Feldport, which was a few miles south of Cair Paravel and had been their planned harbor before the storm had struck. Now they could just go straight to Cair Paravel and ask assistance from the High King of Narnia. It stood to reason that such lovers of peace and prosperity as the Kings and Queens of Narnia were told to be should help outsiders in ridding their own country of a criminal. They might not like it, but surely they would help. Surely.


	10. Edmund the Just and Lady Doris the… Lady

**Chapter Ten: Edmund the Just and Lady Doris the… Lady. **

"Fish, fish, fresh fish, frozen crabs and live lobst-"

"-hot coffee, warm tea, cold drinks, bubbling beer-"

"-and listen to our beautiful young men serenade you with songs of wonder and beauty-"

Donkey listened, bewildered by all of the screaming voices around him crying out their wares.

They were now at the edge of the City surrounding Cair Paravel. After entering the mouth of the Great River, they'd put into port, and Puss, Donkey, Jack and Tink had left the ship to seek out supplies, leaving the crew of the _Black Pearl _to repair their ship.

"Chicken-and-cream pastries, warm bread and salty-"

"-paintings of the sea, of the sky, of your beautiful face, come on pretty lady, just one-"

"Who you callin' a lady?" A half-familiar deep voice interrupted one tradesman, prompting Donkey to turn around to see just what the man had called a lady. The sight that met his eyes surprised him. _Doris_ of all people was addressing the errant painter, Prince Charming hanging off one deep navy silk-clad arm. Donkey's jaw dropped, and he couldn't even poke Puss to make him watch, too.

"I _ain't_ a lady, bub, and you better get that through your think skull before I gotta do it for ya!" Doris said indignantly.

Donkey finally managed to make his arm move, and he tapped Puss on the shoulder- hard.

"Donkey, what-"

The Spanish accent must have prompted the giant…ess to turn around, for Doris suddenly turned, forcing poor Charming to near-run just to keep himself from being dragged around.

"Puss?" He… she… (it, Donkey finally decided,) called out.

"Doris! How have you been?"

"That you, Puss in Boots?"

"_Si_. I woke up with a small problem about a week ago."

"Problem?" Charming butted in. "That doesn't seem like much of a problem to me."

"Oh, Charming, you're so sweet," Doris cooed.

"So…" It said genially, if not still slightly bewildered. "Haven't seen you since the ball."

"I know," Puss answered. "How have you been?"

"Good. Where've you been?" It asked.

"Around. Random jobs, and then about a week ago this happened," Puss gestured to his body, and then at Donkey, "and now we're just hanging around until it ends."

"Ah," Charming said wisely.

Donkey looked around. Apparently Jack and Tinkerbelle had taken off when they realized they had the chance, but Donkey thought he could see the small fairy hovering over a thatch of brown hair that had stationed itself in front of a weaponry booth.

He turned back to Doris and Charming, both of whom (mostly Doris) were now asking Puss questions about the body difference, his 'size,' any interesting sexual encounters as of late…

The last two didn't really forebear much thinking about if Donkey wanted to get through the day comfortably.

Puss suddenly grabbed him by the arm and dragged Donkey to his side. "You remember Donkey, _amigo_. The stupid ass who started the chase that got the _Apple_ on T.V. and a lot of publicity," he said, plainly trying to be nice.

"And a lot of unwanted attention," the giant growled. "That's part of the reason I left. Half of the custom dropped off because the knights were keeping such a close eye on the place."

Donkey gulped. "Umm… sorry?" he offered sheepishly.

The giant glared at him, then its glare softened abruptly when Charming tugged on its sleeve to get it to bend down so he could whisper something in its ear.

"Aww, you're right," Doris sighed. Then he/she directed its attention on Donkey. "If the custom hadn'ta slacked off, I never woulda left to come find the idiot who caused the problem, and hence wouldn't've met Charming." The last part of the sentence ended in a cooing sort of voice, and the giant slipped an arm around Charming's shoulder, and he in turn slid his arm around its waist.

Donkey had to admit, it _was_ kind of cute, but one thing _was_ certain; this had to be the unlikeliest couple he'd ever seen, and that included… well, no, it didn't include Jack and Tinkerbelle, if they'd ever get together. It certainly didn't include the ogre and the princess. Or the clumsy donkey and the sell-sword cat, if _that_ pairing would ever come to fruition.

It might, Donkey considered as he looked at the beautiful man conversing with the giant. It just might.

* * *

"So you've found no mention of her anywhere?" Puss asked the bounty hunter as Jack set his bags down at the table. Now they were sitting in an outdoor café, drinking light ale and waiting for the waiter to come back with their lunch. Doris and Charming had gone off on their own, Jack had gone with Tinkerbelle to tap some information sources, and Puss and Donkey had gone to look for lodgings and certain supplies. Compasses didn't seem to work quite the same way in Narnia than they did in the rest of the world.

"None," the other man replied gloomily, sliding into his seat..

"Maybe she came in under an assumed name," Donkey said. "Or if she changed her appearance… that wouldn't be too hard to do with magic, right?"

"No… no," Jack said. "Narnia isn't fond of magic; at least a lot of the religious sects aren't. Even before the cataclysm that brought them all here, a lot of the people believed that magic was the work of the Devil. Supposedly the followers of Tash used it, but we'll never know, since only one of the Calormenes came through the Door. Aslan's never said anything on the matter, and I don't think he ever will. I don't personally hold with the magicevil belief, but a lot of the people here do, and that's why they've got priests watching the ports to make sure that unsavory characters check in with the proper authorities."

"Can the priests see through magic?" Donkey asked, interested in spite of himself.

"Of course!" Jack said. "How else would they know? One of the sects supplies them; I think it's the Catholics, but I'm not quite sure. They have a special way of finding the boys who can see magic; something to do with their Popes, and they get permission from the parents and the boy himself to cart the kid off until he's of age. Then the boy can choose to either get the power blocked and go into normal life, or become a full Priest."

'_What about the girls?_' "What about the girls who have the power?" Puss asked, echoing Donkey's thought. .

"Umm I think that one of the Goddess-oriented sects takes them. Shortly after Narnia appeared, Aslan made a proclamation saying that females were to be given all the rights of males, including everything pertaining to religious activities. So the female sects popped up."

"Why don't they house the girls with the boys?"

Jack sighed. "Because no matter what you give the kids, hormones will break through. It only took five unwanted pregnancies for the leaders to come to a decision about separate housing for the sexes."

Donkey stared at him. "How do you know all this?" he asked warily.

"Because my brother is a full priest." Jack pushed up the right sleeve of his shirt to reveal a tattoo saying something in what looked like Latin encircling his wrist. "And I went into the same training for five years until I decided that I wasn't devoted enough. It wasn't really my belief, it was really just that some of my views differed from that of the Popes."

"Wow," Puss said.

Donkey poked the tattoo on his wrist experimentally. "What does that mean?" he asked of the tattoo.

Jack smiled. "'_Actus non facit reum, nisi mens sit rea_.'"

"Which means…."

"'The act is not criminal unless the intent is criminal,'" Tinkerbelle supplied from Jack's shoulder.

"O…kay…" Donkey said slowly, trying to puzzle out what that phrase was doing on Jack's wrist.

"I personally take it to mean that what I do isn't really sinning, because I don't consider it as such. Love is an act of God, so…" Jack trailed off and shrugged. "I repent for the bounties, and I only take on cases to hunt down people who have hurt or killed innocents. In a way, I'm a commando of God."

Neither Donkey nor Puss could find anything to say to that, and they were saved from an awkward situation when Doris rushed up to their table.

"Hey, yous guys gotta come quick! I managed to get yous an audience with King Edmund, but we gotta hurry." It said, grabbing up all of their bags and packages and slinging them all over one massive shoulder.

"But the food?" Donkey protested weakly.

"Charming'll get it," Doris volunteered, seating its boyfriend in the chair that Jack had just vacated.

The former prince waved at them and smiled toothily. "I'll bring it back to the flat," he said to the giant. "They can pick it up later."

"Yeah, yeah, now let's _go_!" Doris said, and it grabbed Donkey and Puss and started dragging them along the street, Jack following in the wake that was left in the crowd, Tinkerbelle on his shoulder.

Eventually they came to the gate that served as the lone entrance into the main complex of the castle grounds. The guards waved them through, which surprised Donkey a little; was Doris really that high up in status that it was able to pass through the walls surrounding the castle itself with no hassle, and with companions no less?

Then those thoughts were blown out of his mind by the sheer magnificence of the castle. It looked like it was made of white marble, and the windows- so many windows, all made up of colored glass, too! It looked kind of like a cathedral, really. There were perhaps a half-dozen spires rising high into the sky, and quite a few thicker towers. Obviously it would be quite impossible to defend, but obviously Narnia didn't have very many enemies, if it had any. Certainly this castle was better and more beautiful than the one in Far Far Away, at any rate.

Finally Doris let go of them as they approached the high steps leading to what looked like the front doors to Cair Paravel. The huge wooden doors were wide open, and the giant walked boldly up the steps and through the doors, Puss and Donkey trailing in its wake and Jack and Tink following behind bemusedly. Doris led them through giant hallways with huge tapestries depicting ancient battles, and Donkey's eyes were suddenly fixated on one near the very end of the hall, many tapestries past the one depicting a huge lion standing beside a door made of three strips of wood hastily tied together, with seemingly hundreds of animals pouring through it. That one was near the beginning. The one he'd seen had a beautiful woman dressed all in white, holding what looked like a wand. She was fighting with the lion from the other wall-hanging, and it looked like they were pretty evenly matched… Doris grabbed his arm and started dragging him again when he lost track of the fact that his friends had passed him some time ago. They passed the final tapestry portraying the same lion from the other two tapestries, but this time he was alone, and his mouth was open, and the tapestry was dark on one end, lighter on the other with a suggestion of plants and animals and things. Perhaps it was showing the birth of Narnia, and the other tapestry near the other end of the hall showed the cataclysm?

Then the tapestries went out of sight as he was dragged through a final pair of doors, and Doris let him go. Jack hastily smoothed down the now-rumpled front of Donkey's shirt and pulled Donkey into walking parallel behind Doris with him and Puss with Tinkerbelle floating next to them, so that Doris walked ahead and they were behind it in a line. Donkey was finally able to look around, and what he saw surprised him. They were in a long, wide hall, empty but for a few men and women dressed in either black robes, standing on the left side of the room or just men wearing the arms and armor of soldiers. These stood on the right side of the room. The one man who wore neither was sitting at the end of the hall on a simple throne of black marble that was threaded with veins of silver and gold. Three other thrones sat beside it, but Donkey wasn't really interested in those; he was too busy staring at the occupied throne. The man himself wore silver-colored sections of armor over a simpler version of the black robes. They were tighter upon his body, and much shorter, the hem only coming to mid-thigh, revealing the black pants he wore beneath them that vanished into knee-length boots. His face was handsome, and quite stern, but there were a few smile-lines around his mouth and the corner of his eyes, suggesting a kinder character than he portrayed. His hair was black, and he wore it tied in a small tail at the nape of his neck, his goatee ended in a short point, and the only concession to his rank was a simple gold coronet encircling his brow and a silver scepter in his hand.

A soldier dressed in slightly richer finery than his fellows stepped up to the right of the throne and announced in a clear, ringing voice, "Your Majesty King Edmund the Just, here are Jack the Giant Killer, Tinkerbelle the Fae, Puss in Boots, and Donkey the Dragon Tamer, come to ask about a hag that has entered Narnia!"

There were whispers among all of the people in black robes, and some of the soldiers looked worried. All were looking at the four visitors with speculation in their eyes.

"Step forward, petitioners," King Edmund said, and the three did so, Doris stepping off to the left of the throne to stand among the robed men and women who Donkey thought might be judges.

"What news have you of a hag entering the Kingdom of Narnia?" he asked gravely.

"Majesty, we were hired in the land of Tyme Ago to find and end the terror brought upon by the hag called the Black Annis. She attempted to start an uprising in Toyland, which failed, and her companions were killed in the resulting uproar. She now hides among your forests, near the place which you call the Castle of the White Witch. We beseech you to let us end her tyranny, and do not grant her asylum should she ask for it; no good will come of it, and the only thing that should follow from such a pardon would be much grief among your people, and many problems. Please allow us to hunt her down and end her miserable life," Jack finished quietly, head bowed, awaiting Edmund's decision. Donkey had never heard him talk like that before; it was so grave and quiet and polite; really quite unlike Jack's usual manner.

The King stroked his goatee thoughtfully, and stared hard at them for a moment with his steel-grey eyes.

"I know why you have come," he said finally. "Giant Killer, you are a bounty-hunter, Puss in Boots, an assassin, and your companions accompany you for the friendship you offer. We have not had such as you for many years, and none of those before you have been actively seeking something pertaining to their job. Unfortunately, I cannot allow you to seek your bounty among the forests and rivers of Narnia, nor any other lands of Aslan until you have begged it of their leaders. That is my jurisdiction, and it-"

"Do you really want another Jadis?" Doris interrupted quietly from beside of the throne, where it had been inching to since Jack had begun speaking. It had an unusually earnest look on its face, and was looking at King Edmund with a quiet seriousness written in every line of its body.

"Lady, that does not pertain to-"

"I'm afraid it does, Sir," a female voice called from near the door. Donkey peered around and saw a handsome girl with long brown hair tied into many braids. "Do you not remember the tyranny that the White Witch wrought upon Narnia before and during the first visit of the Sons of Adam and Daughters of Eve?"

King Edmund was obviously flustered by the newcomer's arrival, though he tried to hide it well. "Lady Jill, one of the rules of Narnia states that there shall be no-"

"You of all people should remember her cruelty, Edmund. The White Witch wrought a reign of terror upon Narnia, and was surpassed only by the false Aslan, and _that_ caused the end of shadow-Narnia. Do you really want another 'Imperial Majesty Jadis, Queen of Narnia, Chatelaine of Cair Paravel, and Empress of the Lone Islands' to come around, this time in True Narnia?"

She sounded a lot more down-to-earth that King Edmund the Just, in Donkey's opinion. Could she be one of the Seven Friends of Narnia, then?

"No, but-" Edmund began. He sounded very taken aback by Lady Jill's defense of the newcomers, not very like a King at all.

"Then let them hunt the Hag down, Ed," she said pleadingly. "We don't want another Witch, so let them get rid of her _before_ she becomes a problem."

The King sighed gustily, and raised his scepter. "In the name of the Emperor-beyond-the-Sea, I do allow the Giant Killer, the assassin, the Dragon-Tamer, and the Fairy to hunt down the hag that has penetrated the borders of Narnia, and remove her as soon as possible. That is my jurisdiction, and in the name of the Great Lion, it shall be done." He let the hand holding the scepter fall, and many of the people in the room heaved great sighs.

"Well, that's that," Jack said, as Jill approached the throne, and the assorted soldiers and judges began talking amongst themselves.

"Who's she?" Donkey asked quietly of Jill.

"A Friend of Narnia. She helped King Tirian in the Last Battle of Narnia, and she was also involved in the rescue of Prince Rilian from the Queen of the Underworld," Tink informed them.

"And Edmund?"

"Is one of the four rulers of Narnia," Jack finished. The mentioned Ruler of Narnia was currently engaged in deep conversation with the younger girl.

"Why is Jill helping us?" Puss asked.

"I don't know," Tink said. "She probably doesn't want it in Narnia any more than we want the Emperor-beyond-the-Sea to start declaring war on everything and become horribly prejudiced towards everything that isn't white and pure."

Donkey snorted and then paled when he noticed that both Jill and Edmund were walking towards them. The four travelers snapped to attention and tried their best to look both brave and humble at the same time.

"Well, petitioners," Edmund began. "The Lady Jill has made me see the truth of your statement, and I offer you the service of twenty of our soldiers and five of the Talking Eagles to find the Hag and remove her. Do you concur?"

Before any of the travelers could find anything to say, Jill smacked Edmund lightly on the back of the head. "Oh, do stop talking like that, Ed. You aren't holding Court at the moment, so drop the act."

King Edmund looked sheepish, then grinned. "You're right Jilly. 'Sides, talking like that's a right trial. It came on me quick-like last time we ruled, but now it's hard to do, and I only do it when meeting with an Envoy or Ambassador or holding a Court. Rest've the time it's just too annoying. I s'pose it'll come back sooner or later, but for now it's just a bother. Lu's the same way, too. Only Peter bothers to talk like that all the time unless we're having a fun-day or meeting with our parents." He didn't even mention his sister, Susan, and Donkey wondered why he hadn't. Jack and Tink hadn't covered that, and Donkey thought it might be something they were loath to talk about.

The four bounty-seekers just stared at the King who would talk like a regular person. It was actually quite funny. Donkey would love to see the day when King Harold-the-frog and Queen Lillith-kisser-of-said-frog would meet him. And if his sister and the other Friends of Narnia were anything like these two, Far Far Away might be in for another surprise, even worse than they had when Fiona and her newlywed husband had showed up.

"Well, then," Jill said. "Lunch, anyone?"

* * *

"Wow," Donkey said. "Now dat's a lotta food." Puss elbowed him and Jill broke a smile at Donkey's accented language.

It was true. The table before them was laid out with an array of foods, both meat and vegetable. Ham, turkey, salads, raw food, fresh food, even sushi sat on the table. "Please," Jill said. "Help yourselves."

Cautiously, Donkey reached for what looked like a large pastry, nibbled it, then bit into it with a lot more enthusiasm when he found that it had ham and cheese baked into the center. After he'd swallowed, he asked, "What are these?"

"Ah," Edmund said. "I see you've discovered the hot pockets. Some of the newer arrivals from other parts of Aslan's country brought us these ideas, and they've been quite a success."

"They're really good," Donkey said, taking another bite.

"You should try the pepperoni ones," Jill recommended.

"Ah, excellent!" A male voice said from behind them. "Lunch!" Donkey turned to find himself face-to-face with a lean, middle-aged man who had a blond beard and looked quite older than either Edmund or Jill.

"Professor Kirke!" Jill and Edmund exclaimed together. "Please, sir, sit down," Jill said, pulling up a chair, and Edmund pushed a platter of food towards him.

"Children, please," he pleaded laughingly. "How many times do I have to tell you to call me Diggory?"

"A hundred, sir. It's only been twenty so far," Edmund said, eyes twinkling.

"The youth of the young…" Kirke murmured playfully. "And who are these fine fellows?" he asked upon spotting Donkey and his companions.

Edmund said, "They came to appeal to search out a Hag that got by the Catholic Priests, sir. I'm giving them special permission so that we don't get another Jadis."

"I see. Where is she, then?" he asked Donkey directly, staring at him with eyes that seemed to see straight through the dark man.

"Uhh… by the Castle of the White Witch, sir."

"Does she seek to become another like the White Witch?"

We- we don't know, sir," Donkey said honestly. "She's rare in our countries, too, so we don't really know much about her."

Kirke nodded. "Where I come from, she's a myth, so it's rather hard to tell."

"…yeah…"

"Do you like the hot pockets?" Kirke asked.

"They're really good, sir." Donkey said.

"Please, please! Call me Diggory!"

"Alright, then, s-Diggory."

"Excellent."

On the other side of the table, Jill and Edmund were having a conversation about their brethren.

"When will Lucy be back?"

"I don't know. She sent word from Archenland that she might be delayed. Apparently they're having some problems with the shipping methods overseas."

"Well, none of us have really ever had to trade overseas before. It was always done by caravan, and the few seas shipping was to the Islands, and Narnia was really the only one to trade with them," Edmund told her.

"They'll get used to it," Jill said.

"And Peter's currently closeted with the Envoy from Atlantis, trying to work out trade agreements, and Polly's out working with the heads of the Religions, so we're on our own… What about Eustace?"

"He's off with a lady-friend," said Jill. Even from this short distance she looked rather cross, and Donkey supposed that she must be jealous.

Edmund looked like he was laughing. "Jilly, you've got to tell him sometime. Might as well be before-" and she hushed him. "Not here, Ed."

"Oh, all right."

Donkey turned his attention back to getting one of the pepperoni hot pockets, and devoted himself to enjoying it before they had to get down to the unpleasant business of dealing with the Black Annis. Mmm, he mused as he ate the pocket. These _were_ really good.


	11. The Fairy, the Bounty Hunter, the Idiot,...

**Chapter Eleven: The Fairy, the Bounty Hunter, the Idiot, and the Assassin! What a Happy Ending!**

The journey to the Castle of the White Witch from Cair Paravel was thirty-eight miles. And what a long thirty-eight mile journey it was, too, even on borrowed horses. Borrowed _Talking_ Horses, to be sure, but they didn't really talk much, except for Donkey's and the only things _she_ wanted to talk about were her mate's fine rear and Narnian politics. Both of them fine topics, at least to her, but Donkey was more interested in concentrating on and thinking about the time he had left as a human... and with Puss.

One week was given...

And six days had already been taken back. He had until midnight tonight to get Puss to decide. Less than a day...

He gazed at the passing forest, numb to the glory of the undying trees, and blind to the beauty of the Dryads that played amongst their oaks and birches.

The constantly chattering voice of the Horse beneath him dulled to a background noise and he fell into a stupor, staring blankly at the scenery.

A little while later, something woke him.

He looked ahead. A man stepped out of the bushes, and Donkey was hard-pressed to keep from staring. The man was dressed in simple robes of tawny and white cotton, and his surcoat was made of shantung, and sandals made of leather, but what made Donkey want to gawk was his _presence_. Without having to think about it, Donkey knew that this simply-dressed man had to be a Power. His chestnut hair shone in the direct sunlight, and his brown eyes glowed with a warmth of love and acceptance that nearly knocked Donkey off his Horse. As it was, he stumbled off the mare when she and the other Horses abruptly halted in the middle of the trail and knelt in front of the man. Tinkerbelle, too, was on the ground, kneeling before the man, and Donkey could tell that Jack and Puss were fighting the same urge he was; to prostrate themselves before this stranger and beg forgiveness for all of the sins they'd ever committed. He fought off the compulsion and noticed the other two stand straighter, then unexpectedly, Jack knelt. _Knelt_, not flung to the ground. He saw Puss do the same, and followed their example, kneeling on one knee and bowing his head.

This... _man _radiated an aura of light and love that Donkey had never seen before.

He heard the shuffling of sandaled feet approach Jack, and words were murmured between the two. The conversation seemed to last a long time, and by the time the sandaled feet approached him and stopped between him and Puss, he felt like he'd been kneeling forever. A cool touch on his brow dissolved the weariness of the day, and a hand under his chin brought him to his feet. The Power's right hand was lifting him up, and His left was doing the same for Puss.

"Sons of Adam and Cernunnos, why do your hearts fear so?" He asked gently.

Without even knowing the words, Donkey found himself uttering something he'd only heard Jack utter in passing. "Forgive me Father, for I have sinned..."

The Power stopped him with a warm finger on Donkey's lips. "How have you sinned?"

Donkey bowed his head in shame. "I love a man, Lord, and I know it is sin to do so."

Sin? He didn't believe in Jack's version of religion- why should he be apologizing for something that he didn't feel?

"Love is love, Son of Cernunnos. If you love someone, why should it be wrong?"

Now Jack looked down. "To lie with a man as one would with a woman is a great sin, Father."

"True, Son of Adam. But should you love that man, then the act of sharing your body is the greatest thing that you can do. The only thing higher that can be done is to sacrifice yourself for them, and that is not called for, here."

Donkey stared at the ground. "Forgive me, Lord."

"It is not called for, here. Instead, live your lives together, free of fear of persecution. Narnia changes as we speak, and soon all will be welcome here without needing to fear discrimination."

"Huh?" Jack asked, obviously surprised.

"Live your lives together, and fear not the words of the miseducated. Love each other as you would love yourself, and love to the extent of your true feelings. To love a man is not a sin, nor to love outside of your race," He said, turning his gaze upon the bounty hunter and the fairy.

"Yes, Lord," Jack said, eyes wide with wonder. Tinkerbelle was silent.

He turned His gaze back on Donkey and Puss. "Love one another, for it is your destiny to be together."

"But-" Puss said before he could stop himself.

"But nothing, Puss, Son of Cernunnos. It is your destiny; for if not, why would the potion have worked?"

Donkey's head snapped up. "But how- would you know-" he spluttered helplessly.

The Power smiled. "We know many things, Son of Cernunnos. If not, how would we know when it is time to step in? And what time to step out, or to speak of destiny?" His smile suddenly seemed sad, for a moment. "To know one's destiny is both a blessing and a burden." His gaze vanished into some far off cloud. "And to know that the one you love will betray you is the worst burden of all, sometimes, I think." His gaze returned, and the bright smile reappeared. "Go to your destinies, Sons and Daughters of Adam and Cernunnos, Daughter of Titania." Before he vanished back into the brush he had appeared from, he turned to deliver a few last parting words to Jack, and the meaning was as mysterious as the moon. "A dream is a wish your heart makes, Son of Adam. Great magics- such as those of love and dedication- can work many miracles, among them ones unworkable by Priests of my Word."

Then he disappeared with nary a rustle of the bushes.

The spell holding Donkey to believe in a religion he'd barely heard of loosened its hold, and he breathed a sigh of relief, then turned wondering eyes on Jack. "Who was that?" he said nervously, afraid of the answer.

Before Jack could answer, one of the Horses did it for him.

"That was Aslan, fool!" the stallion snorted contemptuously.

"As...lan?" Donkey faltered. "We just got told off by a _god_?"

"Apparently," Jack said, obviously shaken. His hands were trembling slightly, and Donkey wondered what, exactly, Aslan had told him.

Puss stared at the two of them, then cleared his throat. "We need to keep moving. Horses, up!"

"We aren't horses," one of them grumbled as they followed his order.

"We're _Talking_ Horses, and you'd do well to remember that," Jack's mount added.

"Right, right," Puss said, unproperly chastised. "Let's go."

Jack tenderly picked up a silent Tinkerbelle who had remained prostrate on the ground and put her in a padded front pocket, and they all mounted.

Without another word, the Horses started walking again.

'_What _was_ that?_' Donkey thought.

**x.X.x.X.x.X.x.X.x.X.x.X.x.X.x.X.x.X.x.X.x.X.x.X.x**

"Lamp-post, three-o-clock!" Jack exclaimed, as the legendary lamp-post came into view, nearly hidden among old trees.

"Indeed, O Giant Killer," his Horse said eagerly. "It's a thing of great mystery, and it goes back quite a while into the very beginning of Narnian History."

"Do tell," another of the Horses exclaimed. "I never get tired of hearing these stories."

"True, true," Donkey's mare agreed. "Do tell, Swiftfoot," she said.

Before the Horses could begin chattering again, Donkey and Puss swung off of their mounts. Jack followed a bit more carefully; Tinkerbelle was still curled up in his pocket, and hadn't said a word since her brief, whispered conversation with Jesus. He looked worried, and Donkey started to feel a bit afraid for the fairy.

"We'll be back," Puss called over his shoulder as he and Donkey raced to see the legendary lamp-post.

"It seems almost like a tree of iron," Donkey said dazedly after he touched it. "A great marvel, this is. I know not how it still stands here, but it seems to run through my mind, stirring memories of old and making me feel quite strangely."

"Indeed," Puss said. "For it sends a quiver through my blood, calling me to find a place of trees and pools, a place of never-ending peace, where one can-"

"It's Narnia," Jack said quietly, as he approached them.

"What did you say, fair friend?" Donkey asked. His mind was running even slower now, as if in a dream.

"Narnia is calling to our hearts. She's calling us to her, singing a siren song of peace and prosperity. When you touch something that's very old and not near people a lot, it works magic on you that makes you want to be Narnian."

"Your words maketh no sense, friend. But come, come touch the tree," Puss said. "Touch the tree of iron."

Jack stared at the two of them, and then raised his hand. "I'm sorry that I have to do this, but you gotta do what you gotta do."

He slapped Donkey, then slapped Puss more gently. The twin _smack_sresonated through the woods, and Donkey snapped out of the spell of the siren song of Narnia. Beside him, Puss did the same, and Jack smirked. "That worked well," he said.

"What-" Donkey said, confused.

"Narnia is always working a kind of spell on people who visit. If your will is strong enough, or your will is dominated by someone else with a strong will, you can resist it, but if you're caught unware... Narnia makes you want to stay forever."

"Wow. Why?" Donkey asked.

"Who wouldn't?" One of the Horses said, nickering from her position over by the treeline. "Narnia is Paradise."

"A medieval Paradise," Puss said, rubbing his cheek. "No adventure, no danger, just everyday life with no excitement. Where's the fun in that?"

"You never have to worry about dying," Jack's stallion pointed out.

"But it's boring," Donkey argued. "Boring, yawnfest, and... _boring_!"

"Quite a vocabulary you've got there," Jack said smirking.

His expression changed when he looked back at the lamp-post. "Did you know that there's a Gate around here somewhere?"

"A what?" Donkey said, confused.

"A Gate. It links two places using magic... How do I explain this? Well, basically, if you have two Gate-terminuses, and they're linked, you can walk through one, say, in Cair Paravel and wind up walking out of another one in the Royal Castle in Far Far Away. This one links to Aslan's England- Professor Kirke's house, no less. Their parents are living there now, in case the children need them. I think there's a Gate in London, too that leads to-"

"What!" Donkey cut him off. "Why didn't we just use that, then, instead of using up all this time to travel?"

"Because A: The only Gate remotely near there is the one in Avalon, and it's under the strictest regulations by the Druids, and B: No one really knows where the one here is."

"Can you make one?" Puss asked curiously.

"Yes, but you would need to be an _extremely_ powerful Mage, and those are almost always involved in some religion or another, or too wrapped up in their own affairs to care about making Gates for ordinary people like us," Jack said.

"Oh... The Narnians probably know where it is," Puss said.

Jack looked around for a Gate. "They'd never tell."

"Hey, Horses! Where's the Gate?" Puss shouted at their mounts.

"Like we'd tell you!" The horses responded in unison, then went back to grazing.

"Told you," Jack said.

"Shut up. It's got to be around here somewhere."

"Is that it?" Donkey asked suddenly. Jack looked up. "Huh?"

Donkey was climbing over a few fallen trees a few yards away. "I see a blue sparkly thingy. Is that it?" He asked, looking back over his shoulder.

"Uhh-" Jack looked nonplussed as he ran over and joined Donkey, Puss hard on his heels. "No way," he said in disbelief. "You found the Gate."

"I did?"

"He did?" The Horses called.

"He did," Puss shot back triumphantly. "Do not mess with the Donkey, for he has the ability to find Gates!"

Jack raised an eyebrow, at him then watched from a safe distance as Donkey went to examine the Gate.

It was blue, and didn't exactly sparkle, but it shone with an emanated light that must have lit up that small area of the forest like twilight when it was nighttime. The actual Gate was oval-shaped, and stood without any support but for a small circular stone floor beneath it. The stones were old and worn, gradually turning brown nearest the Gate- wait, that wasn't stone! Donkey ventured onto the platform and touched the brown 'stone.' It was wood! Old, seamless wood that somehow melded with the stone as it gravitated outward.

"Wow," he whispered. Curious, he wandered over to the edge of the 'floor,' picked up a rock, and chucked it into the Gate. He watched, amused as it vanished, then a few seconds later, a crumpled up ball of paper flew out and hit him squarely in the nose.

'Stop throwing things into our empty room!

_Signed_ Mrs. Macready,

Housekeeper of Kirke House.'

Donkey stared at it, bemused, then scribbled a reply, crumpled it back up, and threw it back through.

'_Fo sho._'

"What did it say?" Jack asked.

"It told me to stop throwing things through the Gate."

The much-abused piece of paper came back through the Gate.

'_Is this any of our children? Mother wants a visit._'

Donkey wrote a reply back again on the only clean piece left. '_No. They're still in Cair Paravel. We're just the bounty-hunting weirdos from Hell._'

No paper came back, and Donkey turned around to talk to Jack. "I told her okay, then threw the paper back through. She wants to know if we're her kids. "

"Do we look like we're her kids?"

"No. I said we were the bounty hunters from He-" something hit Donkey in the back of the head, knocking him over. "OW!"

Jack doubled over laughing.

Donkey stood up, rubbing the back of his head gingerly. "What the hell was that?" He exclaimed angrily.

Jack jumped onto the platform and picked something up. "That'd be a brick."

Donkey grabbed it and examined it. Written in still-wet black paint were the words, "Watch your mouth!" The piece of paper was tied to it with string, and an envelope was glued to the other side with the words, "To My Children," written on it.

Jack doubled over again as Donkey ripped the envelope off and shoved the brick into his bag as a memento.

He handed the envelope to Puss. "Can you put this in your bag, please?"

"Of course, O-Attractor-of-Blunt-and-Heavy-Objects."

"Shut up," Donkey snarled. "We'll come back later when we have the Annis. Besides, it's past noon. Shouldn't we get going?"

"Yes," Puss agreed with him, still smiling. "It's only eight miles, but we still need to capture her, and that could take a while."

The two of them started walking back towards the Horses, but Donkey stopped when he realized that Jack wasn't following. When he turned around, he saw the bounty hunter peering anxiously into the pocket where Tinkerbelle was residing.

"Tink?" the bounty hunter asked quietly. He prodded the front of the pocket gently. "Tink, are you alright?" His expression changed to nervousness. "Tinkerbelle?"

A tiny jingle came from the pocket, and Jack's face cleared slightly. "Just talk to me so I know you're alright, okay?"

Another jingle sounded, and Jack started walking towards them. "She's fine," he said, but his face belied his concern.

_I don't know what's wrong,_ he mouthed at them while shielding his front pocket with his hand so she wouldn't see his mouth moving. _I think it's what Jesus said to her, but I couldn't hear it_.

Donkey frowned and stared at Jack. The bounty hunter looked uncharacteristically childlike. Was he that worried for the fairy that they'd only known for a few days? Was this the same rude young man whose first words to Donkey had been insulting to Donkey's horse? Jack looked... older, and more mature, somehow. Apparently... apparently Jack had grown up.

And apparently he really cared for the little fairy. They all did. She had spunk, even if she usually spoke only to Jack. Donkey just hoped that she was okay.

**x.X.x.X.x.X.x.X.x.X.x.X.x.X.x.X.x.X.x.X.x.X.x.X.x**

"The Castle is here, but the hag sure aint," Jack grumbled, staring around at the bare walls and dusty floor, disgust plain in his eyes. There were no tracks in the dirt and moldering leaves on the floor, nor did the family of raccoons nesting under the battered throne seem particularly disturbed, so it was painfully clear that the hag had not been here in quite some time.

"What a bust," Donkey said, kicking glumly at the base of a broken pillar.

"I agree," Puss said gloomily. "I haven't had a job in quite some time... I wanted to kill something."

Donkey stared at him for a second, then went back to kicking the pillar.

Jack stared into his pocket moodily and rubbed his eyes. "She's not looking any better," he said to them quietly.

"She sleeping?" Donkey asked.

"Yeah. I'm really worried. I don't think that-"

A _BOOM_ from the ruined courtyard outside cut him off, and all three hunters looked up, surprised.

Puss said, "You don't think-"

"That it's her?" Donkey finished.

"Only one way to find out," Jack said determinedly, picking up his daggers and pulling a crossbow from his bag.

"Where'd you get that?" Donkey asked, surprised.

"Cair Paravel. Jill was more than happy to show me to the armory."

"You, too?" Puss asked, brandishing a rapier.

"What did you get, Donkey?" Jack asked.

"Uhh..." Donkey picked up a twisted piece of broken metal that might have once come from a statue. "This... club... thing."

"You didn't go, did you?" Puss asked.

"I didn't know we could!" Donkey cried, shifting the makeshift club.

Another _BOOM_ sounded from the courtyard, and Tink flew out of Jack's pocket, buzzing. She hovered by his ear, and his eyes widened.

"It's her," Jack confirmed.

"How do you know?" A third _BOOM_ came from the courtyard; closer, now.

"Magical creatures have auras that resonate with each other. The Annis's magic is very clear to Tink, and she says that the Annis is weaker here than she was back overseas. The magic of Narnia and her distance from home has something to do with it."

_BOOM!_

"We should get going," Donkey said nervously.

"Well, then," Puss said.

"Let's do it," Jack finished for all of them. Tinkerbelle buzzed, and they all headed for the door.

Before they could get there, the ancient oak doors shattered, and the figure of a stooped woman was silhouetted in the doorway.

"You!" she screamed upon spotting Puss. "You killed me 'usband and left me ta die-"

Whatever she was going to say next was interrupted by the hail of crossbow bolts launched by Jack. She shrieked and dove back behind one of the walls holding the doors in place.

The three men scrambled over the splinters and chunks of the ruined doorway into the sunlight. Donkey blinked frantically, trying to force his eyes to adjust to the sudden change from darkness to light. That was when the hag attacked. A fat ribbon of flame streamed over the broken boulders of the stone walls and caught Donkey in the side of the chest. His recently-acquired leather surcoat caught most of the heat, but he still felt the uncaught fire sear his skin. He dropped and rolled to the ground, cursing and trying to put out the flames burning merrily away at his shirt. Jack, Puss and Tink seemed unhurt, and he sighed with relief, both for his arm and that his friends were safe.

"You'll have to do better than that!" Jack shouted over the pile of rubble that was their cover. The Annis shrieked again, this time in anger, and the debris blew apart, giving her a clear path to the hunters.

"Move!" Puss shouted, and they all scrambled in different directions for new cover. The Black Annis pursued Jack, following him behind a broken wall where Donkey couldn't see anything. He heard a muffled yell from Jack, a screech of triumph from the Annis, and a scream of pain from the bounty hunter, which cut off abruptly, raising abrupt alarm in Donkey's mind.

Something _tinkled_ over the wall, and the Black Annis was suddenly thrown back by a blast of yellow energy. Donkey rushed forward with his makeshift club and bashed the Annis over the head with it. She still didn't go down, and Puss joined him, placing the tip of his rapier against her throat. "Move and you die," he said solemnly, staring at her with an intensity that told Donkey that he _really _didn't want to be on the sharp end of that blade.

A weak tinkle sounded from over the wall, and Puss's eyes widened. "Donkey, bind her," he instructed.

Donkey drew the special bindings from his beltpouch- a set of special silver metal cuffs that would restrict the Annis's power and render her semi-conscious, and yanked her hands behind her back roughly and cuffed her, pulling the bindings as tight as they would go.

"Remind me to thank Edmund for these," he said under his breath, as the Annis stopped struggling and fell into a stupor.

He backed away warily and dove for the wall. What he saw when he rounded the bend would haunt his dreams for months. Jack was lying on the ground, hands pressed to a gash in his stomach. No, not a gash. A _hole_.

There was a huge knife lying on the ground nearby, covered in what was obviously Jack's blood. Bloody fingerprints were on the handle, as if Jack had pulled it out and barely had the strength to throw it aside. From the contorted look of agony on his face, he probably had. Tinkerbelle was hovering over his cheek, sobbing, and Donkey felt a surge of pity for the fairy as he knelt beside Jack and pulled his limp hands away from the wound. Blood poured out in a warm gush, and Donkey frantically scrambled for the medical supplies in his bag.

"Puss!" he screamed. "Puss, come quick! Jack's dyin'! _Puss!_"

The assassin appeared over the wall. "_Ay mierda!_"

Donkey hastily pressed a bandage over the wound, and Jack let out a muffled scream. Puss disappeared back over the wall, Donkey heard a _thump_, and the assassin reappeared. "I knocked the bitch out," the flame-haired man said, before kneeling beside Donkey and making an attempt to stop the bleeding. Tinkerbelle smoothed the hair back from Jack's face and wiped the blood out of his eyes, tinkling sadly.

Jack groaned and opened his eyes, eliciting startled gasps from both Donkey and Puss, and an excited jingle from Tink. "What- what happened?" he whispered hoarsely.

"The Annis... she got you with a knife," Puss told him, anger clear in his green eyes.

Jack glanced at the knife, then looked down at the wound. Two seconds passed as he stared at it, then a muffled whimper arose from his throat. "Gutted me, you mean," he said weakly. "I'm not going to last long- she's hit something vital, I can feel it. You won't be able to stop the bleeding. I'll be dead before midnight." Tinkerbelle fell onto his chest with nary a sound, and he gently raised a bloodstained hand to cup it around her.

Puss turned away to start a fire, and Donkey pretended to rummage in his bag for something to give them some privacy. Whispered murmurs came from Jack, and minute tinkles from his cupped hand. Soft sobbing was heard, and without a word, Donkey got up and left to watch the Annis. Puss threw some more wood on the fire and stalked over to glare at the prone form of the hag, and Donkey leaned against the other side of the wall, watching the sun finish traveling the blue dome of the sky. The sobbing continued for what seemed like hours, and Donkey couldn't tell which of the two it was coming from. The sun gradually sank from midway through its fall to the horizon, and Donkey finally rose from his perch. Puss hit the Annis over the head again, and together they circled the wall, afraid of what they might find on the other side. Tink was still curled on Jack's chest, which rose and fell at a terrifyingly slow rate. Jack looked at them pleadingly, begging with his eyes for them to save him. Donkey felt like crying. One of his friends was dying, and he couldn't do anything to save him... nothing at all.

"Oh, Jack," he whispered. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."

Somewhere in his broken form, Jack found a smile for them. "I'm sorry I won't be there to collect the bounty with you," he said with a hint of humor in his brown eyes. "But hey- that's how life goes sometimes, ya?"

"No!" Puss exclaimed. "Jack- this bounty is nothing without you! We came all this way with you- together- became _friends_, just to have this happen. This is not how life works, my friend. God- is there nothing we can do to help you?"

Jack's eyes dulled. "There's nothing you can do. I can feel my life slipping away every second." Indeed, the pool of blood both dried and fresh was larger. "Tink tried- she cried on it, but it didn't do anything. I guess fairy tears can only heal if you're in Neverland."

"Only in Neverland," Tink echoed sadly, flicking her bloodstained wings halfheartedly.

Donkey slumped against the wall, and Puss leaned against it next to him, both watching Jack. "Is there- is there anywhere specific you want to be buried?" Puss asked quietly.

Jack's eyes brightened. "I always wanted to be buried in the sky, where I had my first-" he coughed. "My first adventure. That'd be nice. Can you bury me in the sky?"

Tears sprang into Donkey's eyes. "Yeah, Jack. We'll find a way up there, even if it takes a hundred years." Beside him, Puss nodded, tears flowing down his pale face. Tinkerbelle sniffled, and Jack cupped his hand around her again.

"It's okay, Tink," he murmured. "We'll be together again... someday, I promise."

She nodded, and they all sat in silence for a while, watching Jack die. Tinkerbelle flew over to his cheek, sitting quietly, just smoothing the bloodstained hair out of his eyes. After a while, Donkey realized that her tiny tinkles were ranging in tune to form a song, one that sounded suspiciously like-

"_Ave Maria,_" Jack sang softly. "_Gratia plena, Dominus tecum. Benedicta tu in mulieribus, et benedictus fructus ventris tui, Jesus. Sancta Maria, Mater Dei, Ora pro nobis, peccatoribus, Nunc et in hora mortis nostrae._"

The tears overflowed and began slipping down donkey's cheeks as he realized it was a prayer. He sat silently, crying for the loss of Jack the Giant Killer, when a voice caught all of their attention.

"Hey! Got a package for you!"

"Eh?" Puss looked up in time to have a small bottle bounce off his nose and land in his lap. Donkey stared at the eagle hovering above them.

"It's from Lucy," the Eagle said. "She said that Harry told her that the bounty hunter was in trouble and she sent me with her cordial."

Donkey stared at it. "It's magic, genius," the Eagle said. "Put a drop or two in his mouth." He glanced at Jack. "On second thought, better make it three."

Puss shakily uncorked the innocent-looking crystal bottle and poured a few drops into the almost-dead Jack's mouth. While they all stared in wonder, (except for the Eagle, who watched smugly) and as Jack continued to sing his own funeral dirge, the moon rose higher in the sky and the wound closed, leaving not even a scar. The only thing to testify of its existence was the blood in the ground and the dirge hanging over Jack's lips.

The bounty hunter groaned and sat up, eyes widening. "It worked!" he exclaimed in amazement.

"Sure it does," the Eagle said. "And it never runs out, either."

"I see," Jack said thoughtfully, staring at the bottle. "Would she ever sell it?"

The Eagle squawked indignantly. "Not ever in a thousand years! It was a gift from Aslan Himself!"

"Oh," said Jack. He then pocketed the bottle. "Guess I'll have to steal it then."

The Eagle divebombed his head, screaming a challenge, and Jack hastily relinquished the bottle with a "Damn! Alright, al_right_!"

It perched on the wall, staring at them as if ready to relieve itself on the next person who dared to steal the precious bottle. "What's your name?" Donkey asked curiously.

"Farsight," the Eagle said. "Lucy sent me because Harry told her you were in trouble and that the thief was going to die." He glared at Jack.

"Who's Harry?" asked Puss.

"Oh... the mirror."

"Mirror?"

"The magic mirror that's an envoy from the IKFAGA."

"IKFAGA?"

"Inter-Kingdom Fairy Godmother Association."

"Eh...K."

On that note, Farsight grabbed the cordial and made off with it, winging back out of the woods, presumably back to Cair Paravel. Jack abruptly got up, grabbed Tinkerbelle out of the air, and stalked off into the darkness beyond the wall. "What's he doing?" Donkey asked, rising from his seat.

Puss put a hand on his arm. "They need to talk."

"Ah." Suddenly something different about Puss caught Donkey's eye. He stared into Puss's eyes, and noticed with horror that the pupils were slowly becoming vertically elongated, changing back into cat eyes. He quickly looked up at the sky. The full moon was directly overhead. '_I must have lost track of time! The week is up!_' His own eyes widened. "Puss!"

"What? I told you, they need some time-"

"No! Your eyes- they're changing back! _You're_ changing back!"

"I- _mierde_! I thought we'd have more time!"

"Me too, but I guess not! Can you make your decision now?" Donkey asked, looking into the cat-turned-human's eyes. "Can you live like this?" He dared not ask the question he'd been aching to since finding Puss. _Can you love me?_

"I don't- I don't know," Puss said slowly. "I like this form. It's not as graceful as my feline form, but- I like it. I like it a lot. In fact-"

"Puss," Donkey said through clenched teeth. "Yes or no? Can you live like this? Do you want to live like this? Can you do what you need to to stay in this form?"

Puss blanched. "I don't know," he whispered fearfully. "I don't know if I'm ready- if I'll ever be ready. God- I haven't really thought about it- I don't- I don't-"

Donkey caught his chin. "Puss, you don't have to stay with me if you don't want to. It's a simple kiss. Do you want this or not?"

"I-" Puss caught his breath. "What do you want, Donkey?"

"I want you to be happy," Donkey whispered truthfully. _Even if it means I have to leave you forever. _

"Then let's stay like this," the man whispered as if in a daze, looking at Donkey like he'd never seen him before. Donkey knew- he _knew_ that Puss was going to accept his kiss and then tell him to leave- to get lost- to die-

Puss traced a line down Donkey's cheek with a nail that was rapidly lengthening and sharpening into a claw. "Together," he whispered, and closed his eyes.

Unbelieving, Donkey leaned forward and brushed Puss's lips with his own, and was startled when a pair of strong arms wrapped around his neck and pulled him closer. He kissed Puss again, and both were completely oblivious to the warm glow emanating from their bodies that was filling the courtyard with syrupy golden light.

Jack vaulted back over the wall, a now human-sized Tinkerbelle _sans_ wings, wrapped in his long jacket scurrying clumsily around it, and stared at the two with wonder in his eyes. Neither of them noticed the hag sawing at the bindings with a piece of metal that was stuck in the ground, and upon successfully removing them, fled into the surrounding woods in the general direction of the lamp-post Gate.

Puss and Donkey levitated into the air, propelled by some unknown force, and the light grew brighter. It reached its pinnacle and slowly faded, the two now fully-human Donkey and Puss slowly falling to the ground as soon as their feet touched it.

Jack and Tinkerbelle were to stunned to do anything but stare as the light faded completely, leaving the two several feet away from each other. As the two stared anxiously, Puss awoke, raising his head groggily, and then suddenly more alert when he saw Donkey. He crawled over to the prone form, weak as a kitten, then shook Donkey's shoulder. The man rose dazedly, and stared at Puss with wonder in his eyes, raising his hand to gently touch Puss's cheek, as if believing this all to be a dream. Then, once he'd obviously convinced himself that Puss was real, he burst into tears, falling onto the other man's shouder, sobbing like he couldn't believe Puss had chosen to him. Puss rocked him gently, crooning to him and whispering words of reassurance in his ear that were too soft for Jack to hear.

Jack looked dazedly at Tink, who grinned happily at him. "I guess everyone gets their happy ending, right?" she murmured in his ear as she slid her arm around his waist.

"Mmmhmm," he answered contentedly, slipping his arm around her shoulders and pulling her against him. "Magic happens all the time. Some is more obvious than the rest of it, but it happens. Sometimes it just takes an event to set it in motion."

She chuckled, and looked back over her shoulder at their quarry. Alarm replaced drowsiness and she suddenly reverted back to her original size. "Jack, where's the Annis!"

"Right the- shit!" Jack ran over to the spot where the Annis had been. He leaned down and picked up the remains of the cuffs. "Shit," he repeated in wonder, then spotted the jagged piece of metal. "She sawed right through them. How 'bout that." He turned and trotted back to the wall. "Hey, lovebirds! The Annis is gone!" There was a muffled squeal that sounded like it had come from Donkey, and a rustling. Both men appeared around the wall, clothes tussled. "She can't be!" Puss exclaimed. "We tied her up as tight as it would go!" Donkey protested.

"Well, she is. Now where did she-" A blue flash back near the lamp-post lit up the sky, leaving no doubt as to where she'd gone.

"The Gate!" Puss exclaimed.

"Get the horses!" Jack exclaimed, and Puss scrambled off into the trees, returning a few minutes later on one of the Horses, leading all three at a full gallop, despite the Horses' protests. He stopped in front of them, waiting for the other three to finish gathering all of their belongings and join them.

They finished quickly, Jack and Donkey mounted their own Horses, Tink falling into place on Jack's shoulder. Jack turned his Horse towards the lamp-post, grinning. "She won't get away this time," he exclaimed, and spurred his horse.

Donkey and Puss stared at each other, intending to share an amused glance but instead getting caught in each other's eyes. Puss reached out with his nail to gently trace one Donkey's now-pointed ears, and Donkey reached out to rub the cheek beneath a slitted eye. He leaned over and kissed Puss again, staring deeply into his deeper-than-emerald eyes. "Don't ever leave me," he murmured quietly.

"I won't," Puss reassured him. "I'll never leave you."

"Hurry up!" Jack yelled. "We can't wait forever, and you have all the food!"

"Yes, let's go," Puss's Horse agreed.

"Yeah, yeah!" Donkey called back, and kissed Puss again quickly. "Let's go before he decides to let fly the crossbow bolts."

"Mmm," Puss said, spurring his Horse gently.

Donkey caught up with him easily. "I'll race you," he offered.

"You're on!" Puss said, eyes sparkling.

Before Donkey could say a word, Puss was far ahead of him and gaining. "Puss! That's not fair!" Donkey shouted, and spurred his Horse after him towards the Gate. Who knew where they were headed to on the other side of the Gate, besides the Annis and the Kirke House? Perhaps another adventure, Donkey thought mischievously. Another adventure- he couldn't wait to cross the Gate!

"Puss, wait up! Puss!" As he caught up with his True Love, Donkey grinned. "This's gonna be fun."

_Pop! _

"Donkey," Puss said warningly.

_Pop!_

"Donk-"

_Pop!_

"Donkey!"

_Pop!_

And they all lived happily ever after.


End file.
